My 19 year old son is addicted to pot and has now been diagnosed with apathy syndrome, mild depression, anxiety and adhd. Here's some background. He started smoking pot in high school. Smoked a lot. We didn't realize as he graduated top of his class, even passing AP exams for college credit. Left for college last fall. Anxiety issues were immediately apparent to us. Late night calls. Then he told us how drunk he was getting. Bad falls at parties, wetting pants in sleep. This came to a head in October when he was beat up one night, requiring surgery. Thanksgiving break was awful. His behaviour was combative. He was about to blow any second. It was completely unlike him. Totally out of character. He returned to school. We assisted in getting him into counseling at school. He was sucked in by some religious groups - they were going to "pray him away from pot." I urged him to attend mass for some balance. He did and was able to pull himself from the cult like group. The late night phone calls continued. Excessive drinking - only a little of which we actually knew. Then the conversations became really weird. He was paranoid. He was manic. Classes were not going well - he wasn't hardly attending. One night he called, late, and was delusional. We headed down the next morning and he was still in the delusion. With the assistance of local police, we brought him to the hospital and had him checked into the psychiatric ward. The delusion fell apart before he was even given medications. He was given antiphychotics. After a few days we brought him home. He managed to return for a final but dropped most classes for medical reasons. During Christmas break, we worked with a psychiatrist. He wanted to return to school for spring semester. We intended to ramp up counseling once there. Immediately after returning it was numerous calls every day. The anxiety had taken over and he was having panic attacks. Within 2 weeks, he was threatening suicide. We pulled him out of school. Once home, he slept all of the time. We went back to the psychiatrist and he was switched to an anti depressant. We also made an appointment with a cognitive behavioral therapist. He seemed to start improving. He stopped smoking long enough to pass a drug test and got a full time job in a local factory. Not long after he started working (and making money), he obviously started smoking pot again. The job lasted about 6 weeks. He was let go. By that time, the pot use was ridiculous. Whenever I find it, I flush it. I destroy the items he uses to smoke with. I contacted the psychiatrist and counselor for support. Got nothing. It was apparent that he was driving high. We disabled the car and told him no driving. When I looked at his texts and saw he was buying pot, I shut off his phone. He has no money and we don't give him any. He mows for a few neighbors, which gives him a small amount of cash. Last week, after 2 months of no driving, and reduced pot use (personality is definitely different when smoking), we allowed him to start driving again under the condition that he look for a job. Also, if he continues to drive under the influence we will sell the car. I also turned the phone on under the condition that he makes an appointment with another facility that I found in which I believe will offer better support via counseling and drug treatment. So he made the appointment and my husband and I also met with the psychiatrist. While we knew about the adhd, depression and anxiety, they added apathy syndrome - which is spot on. He was prescribed an anti depressant again - which he doesn't want to take (he wouldn't take the last one either ) but did make a follow-up appointment. He did apply for a job - only one - but did apply. He sleeps a lot. He has gained about 50 lbs. He plays video games all night. In general, it is driving my husband and I crazy. I feel like I either lecture or yell at him every day. I worry that my husband will have a heart attack from the stress. My husband worries about me. We seem to spend more time talking, worrying, crying about our son than he is willing to do himself. He wants to go to school in the fall - he says. While he has applied and been accepted, he really hasn't done anything else to make it happen - like schedule orientation. We said he has to take classes over the summer, while home, to add those stressors and work them out before we will pay for him in the fall. One summer session has already started - nothing. I don't think he will sign up for the next one but hope he does. So here we are. My husband and I feel like prisoners in our own home. We don't want to go away overnight because we don't trust our adult son. I read all of the tough love stuff. I believe that we are being consistent but are so stressed while we are going through this. I understand that he has to help himself. How do I handle this? Do I wake him? Do I nag him to get a job until he does? Do I monitor the medications to make him take? How do we get through this? How can we be sure that the drugs don't get worse?