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Substance Abuse
How do parents deal with the pain?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tia" data-source="post: 677841" data-attributes="member: 19992"><p>Thank you everyone for your support. I have spent a few hours today just reading different stories and they could all be my story. The article on detachment made me realize that this has been going on longer than I thought and I feel that I am to blame and have contributed to the way she is behaving by trying to control her teenage years. I am going to do my best to let go and allow her to be herself and make and learn from her mistakes instead of protecting her. I know it will not be easy.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I stayed away from the hospital today. He did call to see how she was doing and mentioned to the nurse that we will give her the space she wants. The nurse agreed it was a good idea.</p><p></p><p>We will offer the intervention. It will be up to her if and when she is ever ready to participate. I will not enable her with cash or other things. If she wants to be out on her own she will have to be on her own. I will let her know that I love her and when she is ready to help herself we will support her decision.</p><p></p><p>She called her older sister today who is living away at university on campus and asked her if she could go live with her when she is released from the hospital. I had a discussion with older sister about enabling her and I know she understands but it will be difficult for her to say no. They have always been very close. I know that they have used pot together in the past but my older daughter does see now that her sister is having addiction issues and she did apologise to me for not respecting my no pot in the house rule. The Difficult Child asked her to bring her cigarettes to the hospital...which she told her that she could not do this. So the requests have now started!</p><p></p><p>I was off work last week and have taken a few days off work next week because I have not been sleeping well and don't think I can handle the stress of dealing with work. I am afraid to leave the house for too long just in case...I don't really understand why? I feel terrified of something but cant put my finger on it?! It feels like I am two different people one who wants to be strong and one who is so sad and broken.</p><p></p><p>I don't remember how I came across this site but am feeling so grateful. We have not told any family members what is happening at the moment. I mentioned to my mom who is my best friend, a while back the struggles we were having but it caused so much stress on my parents, they are in their 80s so I have decided not to share with them anymore information. Being able to vent and get advice from others who have gone through this has been very helpful. I feel blessed to have found you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tia, post: 677841, member: 19992"] Thank you everyone for your support. I have spent a few hours today just reading different stories and they could all be my story. The article on detachment made me realize that this has been going on longer than I thought and I feel that I am to blame and have contributed to the way she is behaving by trying to control her teenage years. I am going to do my best to let go and allow her to be herself and make and learn from her mistakes instead of protecting her. I know it will not be easy. My husband and I stayed away from the hospital today. He did call to see how she was doing and mentioned to the nurse that we will give her the space she wants. The nurse agreed it was a good idea. We will offer the intervention. It will be up to her if and when she is ever ready to participate. I will not enable her with cash or other things. If she wants to be out on her own she will have to be on her own. I will let her know that I love her and when she is ready to help herself we will support her decision. She called her older sister today who is living away at university on campus and asked her if she could go live with her when she is released from the hospital. I had a discussion with older sister about enabling her and I know she understands but it will be difficult for her to say no. They have always been very close. I know that they have used pot together in the past but my older daughter does see now that her sister is having addiction issues and she did apologise to me for not respecting my no pot in the house rule. The Difficult Child asked her to bring her cigarettes to the hospital...which she told her that she could not do this. So the requests have now started! I was off work last week and have taken a few days off work next week because I have not been sleeping well and don't think I can handle the stress of dealing with work. I am afraid to leave the house for too long just in case...I don't really understand why? I feel terrified of something but cant put my finger on it?! It feels like I am two different people one who wants to be strong and one who is so sad and broken. I don't remember how I came across this site but am feeling so grateful. We have not told any family members what is happening at the moment. I mentioned to my mom who is my best friend, a while back the struggles we were having but it caused so much stress on my parents, they are in their 80s so I have decided not to share with them anymore information. Being able to vent and get advice from others who have gone through this has been very helpful. I feel blessed to have found you all. [/QUOTE]
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