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Substance Abuse
How do parents deal with the pain?
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<blockquote data-quote="UpandDown" data-source="post: 677877" data-attributes="member: 19025"><p>tia, I am sorry that you and your family are going through this. Your story is so very similar to ours. To make a very long story short, my son uses weed to cope with depression. He believes it helps him and any attempt to stop him, he takes as a personal affront. If we intervene by taking his phone, taking his weed etc, he goes off the deep end and will break things, verbally assault us and ultimately says he wants to die. He does not see anything wrong with weed and can argue for days about how it is actually less damaging than the doctor prescribed drugs for depression. He goes up and down and we as his parents who love him so much go up and down with him. I know for certain that this is the only drug he uses. I know that there are worse drugs. However, while he is using weed he is not dealing with the underlying mental health issues. Our family has been through so much and it is a very very lonely place to be. I don't like to talk about our struggles with friends and because of that I feel so detached and foreign to everyone around me. Your description of feeling like you can't walk out the door is painfully familiar. Our son has been in a daily substance abuse program at our local hospital, 3 months away at wilderness therapy, and 3 months of court ordered substance abuse and anger management classes. None of these have gotten him to stop using. He is almost 17 and we are terrified for his future. There are days and weeks where he seems to be getting tired of weed. Where he says its so expensive and hard to live this way. Then he catches up in school and seems better. Then I get hopeful and begin to feel like things might be ok. Then something sets him off and he "binges" on weed. Getting up before school at 5 am to smoke, finding ways all day to sneak off and smoke. And then I begin another frantic search for a way to help him. A boarding school? Another treatment program? His grades fall and up and down we go. He does see a therapist every other week which he seems to like very much. That is after going through 6 others through the years. Our rules now are that no school while you are high, not allowed to drive anymore, and no smoking in our home. I try not to engage in arguments with him about weed. I just repeat, "you may not smoke in our home" Or you may not drive as I don't know if you are using, etc. He will poke and try to engage me in an argument about how I don't love him, don't care about him . Again, I just repeat our rules. I never know when things are going to blow up. Usually its when things calm down and I get hopeful and begin making plans. I think you are doing the right thing. Perhaps she will be ready for the help an intervention can provide. Hang in there. I find reading posts here help. I don't often chime in but just knowing I am not alone is helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="UpandDown, post: 677877, member: 19025"] tia, I am sorry that you and your family are going through this. Your story is so very similar to ours. To make a very long story short, my son uses weed to cope with depression. He believes it helps him and any attempt to stop him, he takes as a personal affront. If we intervene by taking his phone, taking his weed etc, he goes off the deep end and will break things, verbally assault us and ultimately says he wants to die. He does not see anything wrong with weed and can argue for days about how it is actually less damaging than the doctor prescribed drugs for depression. He goes up and down and we as his parents who love him so much go up and down with him. I know for certain that this is the only drug he uses. I know that there are worse drugs. However, while he is using weed he is not dealing with the underlying mental health issues. Our family has been through so much and it is a very very lonely place to be. I don't like to talk about our struggles with friends and because of that I feel so detached and foreign to everyone around me. Your description of feeling like you can't walk out the door is painfully familiar. Our son has been in a daily substance abuse program at our local hospital, 3 months away at wilderness therapy, and 3 months of court ordered substance abuse and anger management classes. None of these have gotten him to stop using. He is almost 17 and we are terrified for his future. There are days and weeks where he seems to be getting tired of weed. Where he says its so expensive and hard to live this way. Then he catches up in school and seems better. Then I get hopeful and begin to feel like things might be ok. Then something sets him off and he "binges" on weed. Getting up before school at 5 am to smoke, finding ways all day to sneak off and smoke. And then I begin another frantic search for a way to help him. A boarding school? Another treatment program? His grades fall and up and down we go. He does see a therapist every other week which he seems to like very much. That is after going through 6 others through the years. Our rules now are that no school while you are high, not allowed to drive anymore, and no smoking in our home. I try not to engage in arguments with him about weed. I just repeat, "you may not smoke in our home" Or you may not drive as I don't know if you are using, etc. He will poke and try to engage me in an argument about how I don't love him, don't care about him . Again, I just repeat our rules. I never know when things are going to blow up. Usually its when things calm down and I get hopeful and begin making plans. I think you are doing the right thing. Perhaps she will be ready for the help an intervention can provide. Hang in there. I find reading posts here help. I don't often chime in but just knowing I am not alone is helpful. [/QUOTE]
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