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Substance Abuse
How do you avoid questions about Difficult Child?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 696782" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Bart isn't really in trouble. He's just a very difficult grown man who says terrible things and probably has a personality disorder. I tell people I have one grown son near St. LOUIS and his job title, but there is almost nobody I would share with how he treats most people. I am used to him. Maybe that's sad but he has had limited empathy and disregard for others all his life. Its not addiction related and I feel no need to share his life with anyone else. We don't have to. None of us do. In my case. Unless he is currently at his worse, l don't even worry about it anymore. My three wonderful kids, my sun shine granddaughter and my husband give me all the pure love I need. And I know bart loves me even with how he talks to me. Bart s behavior is off the table to most.</p><p></p><p>Don't you think some of these perfect families may be hiding secrets too? I do. To others I'm sure we look like the Brady Bunch. Well, except that we don't look alike...lol. And Alice is me!</p><p></p><p>You owe nobody anything if it makes you uncomfortable. It's a boudary issue. Only share if and what you like. I think it's ok to say,"for personal reasons I don't want to talk about Joey." If they are not respectful of that boundary and say,"oh, something wrong?" I think it's fine to repeat,"I would rather not discuss him."</p><p></p><p>I HAVE GOTTEN NEGATIVE FEEDBACK in ways I didn't want when I have explained my problems of various sorts even to friend's. So I don't share</p><p>I talk to my husband and therapist if I need to talk. None of us have to tell our stories. It is up to us.</p><p>I am grateful Bart is in St. Louis. The distance is good for both of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 696782, member: 1550"] Bart isn't really in trouble. He's just a very difficult grown man who says terrible things and probably has a personality disorder. I tell people I have one grown son near St. LOUIS and his job title, but there is almost nobody I would share with how he treats most people. I am used to him. Maybe that's sad but he has had limited empathy and disregard for others all his life. Its not addiction related and I feel no need to share his life with anyone else. We don't have to. None of us do. In my case. Unless he is currently at his worse, l don't even worry about it anymore. My three wonderful kids, my sun shine granddaughter and my husband give me all the pure love I need. And I know bart loves me even with how he talks to me. Bart s behavior is off the table to most. Don't you think some of these perfect families may be hiding secrets too? I do. To others I'm sure we look like the Brady Bunch. Well, except that we don't look alike...lol. And Alice is me! You owe nobody anything if it makes you uncomfortable. It's a boudary issue. Only share if and what you like. I think it's ok to say,"for personal reasons I don't want to talk about Joey." If they are not respectful of that boundary and say,"oh, something wrong?" I think it's fine to repeat,"I would rather not discuss him." I HAVE GOTTEN NEGATIVE FEEDBACK in ways I didn't want when I have explained my problems of various sorts even to friend's. So I don't share I talk to my husband and therapist if I need to talk. None of us have to tell our stories. It is up to us. I am grateful Bart is in St. Louis. The distance is good for both of us. [/QUOTE]
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