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General Parenting
How do you deal with the constant negativity?
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 61248" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>No, in my opinion it's not worth a meltdown to me. My difficult child can be very rude and says hurtful things all the time. Usually when it happens I respond calmly that it's inappropriate. Sometimes he will stop, other times he will just say "so," and continue on his rants.</p><p></p><p>I always repeat the same words or phrases with him when I correct his behaviors because he will remember that more than he will remember the details of a talk and what he learned from it. I hope that some day when he is about to say something rude, my little voice saying "inappropriate" will pop into his head and he will stop.</p><p></p><p>I don't punish at that moment, but usually I will talk to him later. He went through a few weeks at school when he was saying mean, rude things to everyone for no apparent reason. When we talked about it, I realized he was repeating things he has heard on The Simpsons (a show I don't let him watch, but the comics are what got him to start reading so he has the comic books and husband lets him watch the show). I told him he couldn't watch the Simpsons and he had to give me the comics until he could control his rudeness. Three months later and he's still not allowed to watch or read the Simpsons because the rudeness hasn't stopped, although it's not nearly as severe.</p><p></p><p>He also really cares that he doesn't have friends and he gets in a lot of fights. He doesn't want that kind of life at all. So we talk a lot (when he is not in a mood) about how he acts and some of the things he says and does, and how that needs to change if he wants to have friends. The hope is that someday it will click with him and he will be motivated to change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 61248, member: 45"] No, in my opinion it's not worth a meltdown to me. My difficult child can be very rude and says hurtful things all the time. Usually when it happens I respond calmly that it's inappropriate. Sometimes he will stop, other times he will just say "so," and continue on his rants. I always repeat the same words or phrases with him when I correct his behaviors because he will remember that more than he will remember the details of a talk and what he learned from it. I hope that some day when he is about to say something rude, my little voice saying "inappropriate" will pop into his head and he will stop. I don't punish at that moment, but usually I will talk to him later. He went through a few weeks at school when he was saying mean, rude things to everyone for no apparent reason. When we talked about it, I realized he was repeating things he has heard on The Simpsons (a show I don't let him watch, but the comics are what got him to start reading so he has the comic books and husband lets him watch the show). I told him he couldn't watch the Simpsons and he had to give me the comics until he could control his rudeness. Three months later and he's still not allowed to watch or read the Simpsons because the rudeness hasn't stopped, although it's not nearly as severe. He also really cares that he doesn't have friends and he gets in a lot of fights. He doesn't want that kind of life at all. So we talk a lot (when he is not in a mood) about how he acts and some of the things he says and does, and how that needs to change if he wants to have friends. The hope is that someday it will click with him and he will be motivated to change. [/QUOTE]
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How do you deal with the constant negativity?
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