wow, well that is a good thing to have confirmed at least. Sorry you are having to go through this now though.
If he is not in a full rage and is able to listen at all, there are some of those Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) tricks they suggest, like if you thought the problem was that he was going to bed too late for the past few nights, you would say, (sincerely, not sarcastic or mean) "thank you for letting me know that you are so tired. That is something I can really help you with." You could say (I am no expert at this, better off in the Daniel Hughes books or other of those attachment/adoption books) maybe something like, Oh sweetie, looks like I really need to make sure we dont watch any more TV at (child minder)'s house because it seems to really make you wound up later in the day. Thanks for letting me know. Mommy's are good at fixing things like this. (if he argues that is not true, I didn't say that, well your body and voice are telling me that). Then divert, do you want to read a book now? Now, here is where I probably go wrong.... IF Q suddenly stops and "turns things around" and apologizes and asks for a chance etc... I do tend to give it to him and it works. He does not go back to the behavior. But I think if he would not need that chance or it didn't work, then I would just do what I said so it is not confusing. He will ask, can that just be a warning mom? I promise not to do it again. And if he can stick to it then I go with it. Now if it is clear it is beyond his control and I really am right, it is what I said, then he is done (staying awake late for a special game or whatever I think is putting him in that icky space).
Probably not something that a behavior analyst would say is ok but it works for us. I often use the "your body is telling me....'" line.
Really is a bother, and yes, I do know what it is like. Really really do know.