how do you dicipline when no consequences work??

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
They may have had better genetics. I have three adopted kids, all from different birthparents, all very different.

You may want to ask birthmom more about birthdad...could give you a clue about your difficult child.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Welcome, Superthor.

I agree with-DaisyFace that containment rather the discipline is the way to go until you get a good diagnosis.

I would seriously look into medications to calm him down. I hate to push drugs on a kid but from your description, he cannot control himself. If this is what you see, can you imagine the chaos inside of his head? Poor kid.

Just because the dad is labeled a sociopath does not mean that your son is one. He could be Aspie/autistic and have awful social skills and no coping skills. Many Aspies end up in jail and they aren't diagnosis'ed until yrs later. It's very sad. I hope that you are able to get your son a full day or two of neuropsychologist testing (incl ADHD testing) and find ways to keep him contained.

I totally agree with the others, that there is most likely a trigger for his behaviors. Most of the time, it's simply the word, "No."

My son used to say he wanted to kill me and that he hated me, and in a calm moment, we asked him if he meant it. He said no, and was apologetic. So we made a rule that he was allowed to say he was mad at us, but not that he hated us or wanted to kill us. Of course, it came with-consequences. Sometimes we would withhold his favorite Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Sometimes we would put him in Time Out. As he grew older, we took away his computer and video games.

You have to find your son's weak spot. It could be a certain food, a TV show, the computer, a certain game on the computer, a friend, a routine ... you will find something. Just give it time. Also, once you finally find the magic thing, and withhold it, expect a total nuclear meltdown. Make sure that you take all breakables out of his room (glass lamps and bulbs, even handles on dresser drawers) and just expect him to whale away for several hrs.

You will have to do that a few times until he "gets it" and after that, all you'll have to do is threaten and he'll backpedal and do what he's supposed to do.

However, keep in mind, that right how, until he's on medications and put on a new diet (I forgot to mention that part; he's probably got food allergies that manifest as mood disorders and stomach issues) he won't be able to control himself. Imagine having a bunch of bees invade the legs of your jeans and start stinging you, and then you're expected to turn in some important report for the CEO with a smile on your face.
 
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