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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 41096" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Reading what you've written makes me so sad! As the others have already said, if you and husband aren't on the same page, things will be much worse. No matter what type of problems you and husband have as a couple, it is important to present a united front when dealing with difficult children.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I don't always agree when it comes to parenting difficult children. There was a time when husband questioned my parenting skills in front of difficult children, did lots of screaming, but never had any solutions. During this period, I too, often dreamed about giving difficult children to husband to raise by himself. I felt like I was living in H-LL!!!</p><p></p><p>Things got worse until husband and I spoke to difficult children's therapist. therapist explained to us how important a united front is when dealing with difficult children. We began having weekly meetings to discuss difficult child issues and find solutions acceptable to both of us. To this day, we have to do alot of compromising!!! However, the results are worth it!!!</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1's behavior improved when he found out that husband would no longer tolerate difficult child's total lack of respect for me. Most of the time, husband is actually harder on difficult child 1 now than I am. </p><p></p><p>As difficult child 1's therapist said, when difficult child 1 is unstable, he actually enjoys a good argument and tries to create tension between family members. As long as husband and I present a united front, difficult child 1 is powerless.</p><p></p><p>Please find a time to talk to your husband privately. If you can't work things out alone, consider talking to a therapist. If you don't get on the same page, you will continue to suffer...</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, take as much time away from difficult child and husband as possible. Go out with friends, exercise, discover a new hobby, etc... You need to take care of you!!! You deserve to be happy!!! Sending cyber hugs and a cyber shoulder to lean on...WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 41096, member: 3388"] Reading what you've written makes me so sad! As the others have already said, if you and husband aren't on the same page, things will be much worse. No matter what type of problems you and husband have as a couple, it is important to present a united front when dealing with difficult children. My husband and I don't always agree when it comes to parenting difficult children. There was a time when husband questioned my parenting skills in front of difficult children, did lots of screaming, but never had any solutions. During this period, I too, often dreamed about giving difficult children to husband to raise by himself. I felt like I was living in H-LL!!! Things got worse until husband and I spoke to difficult children's therapist. therapist explained to us how important a united front is when dealing with difficult children. We began having weekly meetings to discuss difficult child issues and find solutions acceptable to both of us. To this day, we have to do alot of compromising!!! However, the results are worth it!!! difficult child 1's behavior improved when he found out that husband would no longer tolerate difficult child's total lack of respect for me. Most of the time, husband is actually harder on difficult child 1 now than I am. As difficult child 1's therapist said, when difficult child 1 is unstable, he actually enjoys a good argument and tries to create tension between family members. As long as husband and I present a united front, difficult child 1 is powerless. Please find a time to talk to your husband privately. If you can't work things out alone, consider talking to a therapist. If you don't get on the same page, you will continue to suffer... In the meantime, take as much time away from difficult child and husband as possible. Go out with friends, exercise, discover a new hobby, etc... You need to take care of you!!! You deserve to be happy!!! Sending cyber hugs and a cyber shoulder to lean on...WFEN [/QUOTE]
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