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How do you guys develop thick skins??
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 23934" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Pretty much, it took a lot of practice for me. After hearing whatever his choice words of the day were for me umpteen gazillion times, I just turned off my heart. You have to. My heart is pretty hardened with most of his antics these days - it's sad because I probably don't have the good emotional reactions either but we have to adapt to survive. </p><p></p><p>If my husband had spoken to me *once* the way thank you has a million times, he would've been kicked to the curb in a heartbeat. We can't do that with- our kids, so we have to just become very deaf. For us, what thank you said was always a basket C item because his violence was basket A. His mouth was the least of my problems, you know? </p><p></p><p>It's hurtful but also I've rationalized it this way: thank you doesn't have a clue of what he's really feeling or thinking most of the time. He knew in the bad old days that calling me (insert choice) would push my buttons - not that he really thought I was a (insert choice). The frequency of his foul name-calling decreased dramatically when I stopped reacting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 23934, member: 8"] Pretty much, it took a lot of practice for me. After hearing whatever his choice words of the day were for me umpteen gazillion times, I just turned off my heart. You have to. My heart is pretty hardened with most of his antics these days - it's sad because I probably don't have the good emotional reactions either but we have to adapt to survive. If my husband had spoken to me *once* the way thank you has a million times, he would've been kicked to the curb in a heartbeat. We can't do that with- our kids, so we have to just become very deaf. For us, what thank you said was always a basket C item because his violence was basket A. His mouth was the least of my problems, you know? It's hurtful but also I've rationalized it this way: thank you doesn't have a clue of what he's really feeling or thinking most of the time. He knew in the bad old days that calling me (insert choice) would push my buttons - not that he really thought I was a (insert choice). The frequency of his foul name-calling decreased dramatically when I stopped reacting. [/QUOTE]
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How do you guys develop thick skins??
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