Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Dear chick pea. This is an old thread. A lot of us currently are dealing with this same thing. Homeless or near homeless adult children who are running out of options but don't want to take responsibility to meet their challenges or to seek support and resources to help them. They see their only lifeline as us.
Then if we resist or try to channel them away their trump card is "I'm going to kill myself." My son has done this. He does it way less because I have not hesitated to call the police who have taken him to the local psychiatric hospital and admitted him involuntarily. He is careful now to not make threats in the here and now, or with specific plans and means.
We have no control over the lives of another adult, including our beloved children. You know that and so do I. Including keeping them alive, either due to their illnesses (my own son, and his traumatic brain injuries) or to acts of their own hand.
I don't know why your daughter speaks to you of such things, but it's wrong on so many levels. First, you are powerless. Second, it is cruel. Third, it is ineffective in solving her problems.
If she never chooses to approach her life in a different way, she will always be up against the wall, at the mercy of other people and circumstances. But you, you have choices. So do I.
What we are doing here, is learning to live our own lives, to live well, staying in our own lane. We can live our lives with serenity, peace and plenty even if they, our children, do not seek this for themselves.
While I have not yet learned how to do this, I see now that it is possible for me too. And I want it. So do you.
I know how hard is this. Take care.
