Thursday morning I found my difficult child suffocating our cat. Thankfully I caught him in time, but he was laying on the cat, all 100lbs of him, and the cat clearly would have died if I hadn't found him. He laughed when I screamed for him to stop. He is now on psychiatric stay #7, where they will tweak his medications a little and send him home in 5-10 days, max. I don't want him to come home. The way I feel right now, I don't ever want to see him again. Hearing him tell me on the phone tonight that he missed me made my skin crawl. Please tell me I'm not the worst parent in the world and that others have felt this way too at times. My other child asked tonight if she could take the cat and move to my sister's in North Carolina so we wouldn't have to rehome the cat to keep my son from killing him.