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How do you parent a situation like this?!?!
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 72084" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>If you very rarely saw these people, I think I would wait too until the times comes that you would be around them for some reason. She may be a little older and better able to handle it by them.</p><p></p><p>Could I ask you though ... how did you handle the death of the first child with your daughter? Did you discuss it and give her the opportunity to ask questions and get all the reassurance she needed? I ask that because when I was that same age (back in the Dark Ages!) the same thing happened to me. We had just started kindergarten, and I was just starting to make friends with kids my own age - up until then I had mainly played with cousins, etc. I got along well with one little girl who lived right across the street from the school - she was really my very first friend. We came in one day and this little girl wasn't there ... and then the teacher told us that there had been a fire at her house and that she had died! Then she said that if we talked about it, it would just make us all very sad, so we wouldn't talk about it! Then we went right back to our regular classroom routine! That was it! They would never handle it like that now but they did back then! And she was never mentioned again! It was like she had never existed at all! We never even talked about it among ourselves because we were given the impression that it was wrong to talk about it.</p><p></p><p>At that age, we really didn't understand death. We knew that people died, but we assumed they were all "old people" - that someone OUR age could actually <em>die</em> was a foreign concept to us - very hard to process. And we all went around thinking about it constantly and wondering if WE might be next! I know that I did! I was "obcessed" with it for a very long time, so many unanswered questions, so much worry and fear. It wasn't discussed at home either after that first day.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter may still be trying to process the death of her friend in her mind. It takes a long time. The first time you go through the death of someone you care about is one of those painful "rites of passage" that all children have to go through sooner or later, but five is very young. I'm sure you discussed it thoroughly with her, but as time goes on she will probably have more and more questions and need a lot of reassurance. Just give her every opportunity to talk and share what's on her mind so she doesn't keep it inside and worry about it. Such a sad situation!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 72084, member: 1883"] If you very rarely saw these people, I think I would wait too until the times comes that you would be around them for some reason. She may be a little older and better able to handle it by them. Could I ask you though ... how did you handle the death of the first child with your daughter? Did you discuss it and give her the opportunity to ask questions and get all the reassurance she needed? I ask that because when I was that same age (back in the Dark Ages!) the same thing happened to me. We had just started kindergarten, and I was just starting to make friends with kids my own age - up until then I had mainly played with cousins, etc. I got along well with one little girl who lived right across the street from the school - she was really my very first friend. We came in one day and this little girl wasn't there ... and then the teacher told us that there had been a fire at her house and that she had died! Then she said that if we talked about it, it would just make us all very sad, so we wouldn't talk about it! Then we went right back to our regular classroom routine! That was it! They would never handle it like that now but they did back then! And she was never mentioned again! It was like she had never existed at all! We never even talked about it among ourselves because we were given the impression that it was wrong to talk about it. At that age, we really didn't understand death. We knew that people died, but we assumed they were all "old people" - that someone OUR age could actually [i]die[/i] was a foreign concept to us - very hard to process. And we all went around thinking about it constantly and wondering if WE might be next! I know that I did! I was "obcessed" with it for a very long time, so many unanswered questions, so much worry and fear. It wasn't discussed at home either after that first day. Your daughter may still be trying to process the death of her friend in her mind. It takes a long time. The first time you go through the death of someone you care about is one of those painful "rites of passage" that all children have to go through sooner or later, but five is very young. I'm sure you discussed it thoroughly with her, but as time goes on she will probably have more and more questions and need a lot of reassurance. Just give her every opportunity to talk and share what's on her mind so she doesn't keep it inside and worry about it. Such a sad situation! [/QUOTE]
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