How do YOU stay calm in a difficult child meltdown

[totoro]

I channel my inner Dragonfly... that is what I call it. She is my doorway to the dreamworld. I have a tattoo of a dragonfly. I take a deep breath and think of her... fill my mind with calm...

Use whatever you believe in... your own personal Jesus... Take a deep breath and let it fill you up...

K was attacking me last night and I was alone with N, who has Croup, the puppy, who is trying to potty train.
K was screaming, breaking things, at one point she took Indies KONG and hit me in the face... I took a deep breath and got down at her level, took hold of her and said "No, you will not hurt me or any one else in this house" I had to restrain her... she destroyed her room, I had to remove everything from her room, I calmly explained that I was not mad, but that I new when she was calm she would be sad if she broke anymore of her stuff. So it was gone for now until she could be calm for awhile.

She stayed in her room and slept on her bare mattress with her blankets thrown on her...
I took a deep breath...

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, Totoro ... we all need Dragonflies.

Heather, you're right, there's no point in talking to them at all until they come out of the meltdown. One of the Asperger's books I have showed a chart like a bell curve, with-an escalation of tempers, the child's above, but parallelling the adult's, and at the end, "a teachable moment." So true, even with-o Asperger's.

 

[Steely]

Yep, you guys are right - no teachable moments during those times, so why do I try. Sigh...........Maybe I need yoga or meditation so that I can stay centered better - like toto's dragonfly - I need to be able to do that!

I also learned that it takes a full 30 minutes for any person's brain to go back to the "normal" chemical balance after being angry. Think about that! A full half hour, until the brain goes back to being normal. And that is a non mentally ill person - who knows how long for a difficult children.