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How do you survive?
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 708689" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I am very sorry for everything you are experiencing and I commend you for being honest and brave enough to openly discuss it. Our problem children, and the complex relationships we have with them (love/hate), are so far removed from most people's conception of what it means to be a parent that many of us feel very ashamed....for secretly admitting to ourselves how much better life is without their disruptive, destructive presence.</p><p></p><p>You are far from alone.</p><p></p><p>I would highly recommend that you begin asking for outside help. This can be in any number of forms. If he doesn't have an IEP yet, you should begin that process. If he does have an IEP, get a free advocate (your state board of education should be able to provide names) and begin to make the case for a residential placement. If you are not safe in your own home, you can contact your state's department of human services and explain the situation. Others have walked this path (I have not) and can give you much better information, but if this was my child I would be in front of a judge explaining that he is very sick and I cannot provide the care he needs in a home setting. He needs a residential school equipped to handle children like him.</p><p></p><p>He will destroy your marriage and your sense of who you are if you allow it. Don't allow it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 708689, member: 13303"] I am very sorry for everything you are experiencing and I commend you for being honest and brave enough to openly discuss it. Our problem children, and the complex relationships we have with them (love/hate), are so far removed from most people's conception of what it means to be a parent that many of us feel very ashamed....for secretly admitting to ourselves how much better life is without their disruptive, destructive presence. You are far from alone. I would highly recommend that you begin asking for outside help. This can be in any number of forms. If he doesn't have an IEP yet, you should begin that process. If he does have an IEP, get a free advocate (your state board of education should be able to provide names) and begin to make the case for a residential placement. If you are not safe in your own home, you can contact your state's department of human services and explain the situation. Others have walked this path (I have not) and can give you much better information, but if this was my child I would be in front of a judge explaining that he is very sick and I cannot provide the care he needs in a home setting. He needs a residential school equipped to handle children like him. He will destroy your marriage and your sense of who you are if you allow it. Don't allow it. [/QUOTE]
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