How far should environmental accomodations go?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by whatamess, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    If school staff know how to keep difficult child from escalating, how far do you think they should go to avoid triggers? I have been given the impression that my expectations for environmental accomodations at school are not realistic; however these accomodations do prevent extreme behaviors in difficult child (like slapping, kicking, spitting, screaming).
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    What are you asking for that they think is so extreme?
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I fought this battle for Tigger. I finally convinced them to do it my way when it was clear that their way was leading to daily rages. Of course, then I had to fight the battle to get them to actually do it 100% and not just the parts that were easy. I think the KEY is getting them to comply was convincing them that until Tigger engaged with them, they were not going to reach him and their therapy/education they threw AT him was a waste of time; that by creating an environment that he felt safe that they would be able to start working WITH him and making progress.

    Some of the things we had:

    *'cave' area (a place where he could go and 'hide' - they tried a tent until he used it to roll around the floor then they went with my suggestion and took an old teacher's desk and put up a curtain to shield the area under it so he could crawl in)

    *noise-cancelling headphones

    *lights off when he started to escalate

    *all staff goes non-verbal when he goes non-verbal

    *allowed to keep shoes off in classroom

    *allowed to do work anywhere in room (lying on floor, sitting in bean bag, etc)

    That was end of 4th/beginning of 5th grade. By the end of 6th, he had progressed to using a small area of the classroom that was partitioned off with one of those office-cubby partial walls instead of a cave, he was only non-verbal twice since Christmas, he does his work at his desk and he keeps his shoes on most of the time.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Isnt it odd how so many of our kids want a cave type situation? Cory craved one when he was in the lower grades and all but one teacher refused to allow it. I had no idea back then I could fight for it. His fourth grade teacher was a gem and just rolled with it and set Cory up in the back of the room with a regular desk but put a big box like one a dishwasher or something came in over top over top of the desk and let Cory crawl under there when he needed to do that. He would go in there and work when he was overwhelmed. He actually behaved better that year for that man.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    At one point, when Onyxx started to rage, she would go find the smallest corner and hide in it. In one instance, it was under the sofa; another, her closet; a third, between an end table and the piano at my parents' (she shouldn't have fit there, but she did).

    This did not happen at school - I believe because she felt safe at school. She did live with her mother's mother for a while, in a cramped trailer, so perhaps if she made herself very small she could avoid BM's rages.

    As she got bigger, she stopped doing this and started lashing out.

    Regardless of the actual REASON, I think it's a safety thing. Like the womb, perhaps...
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    So what is it they feel is extreme? Seems pretty simple to me.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am constantly amazed that school thinks the things that JJJ's eeyore needs are extreme. WHY is it extreme or a problem for a kid or every kid to o work somewhere other than a desk? Or to provide a cave type place for a kid to go to if the alternative is bad behavior, rages, violence?? in my opinion some of these teachers need to spend a few days trapped in sensory overload and not allowed to do ANYTHING to make it better.

    I used to drag an old crib mattress (kept under my bed for sleepovers or for me to sleep on when a cousin came and used my bed) into my closet and pillows and then throw any/everything I could into the opening so I was barricaded (usually by my army of stuffed animals). I kept a flashlight and a handful of books back there and would spend hours in there. I have a LOT of vivid memories of childhood and the times I went in there were often to get away from gfgbro and the fighting that happened. Oddly enough I retreated more when he fought with my folks than when he fought with and/or attacked me. I can remember falling asleep in there one afternoon and my mother frantically digging all the animals out of the way because she had been looking for me for an hour. I was probably about three at the time and they were frantic because I didnt' come to dinner or answer when they called. I remember waking up to my mom shaking me and being all upset and thinking "why is she bothering me? I was all cozy and safe finally and got some sleep and what is her problem? ( I have an odd memory inherited from my dad and his mother and these are as vivid to me as if I watched them on tv but felt what the people on tv felt.) After that my mom knew I would hole up back there and would sleep there, so she wasn't as upset until she checked it if I was not somewhere more easily found. For a while I switched to under my bed to be my cave, but it was too hard to read there. Picture books are too big to open up under a bed. Now if we had those bed risers, WOW! I could have done something with those on my bed!

    Anyway, I think if he needs it he needs it. It would have to be a lot for me to think it was too extreme. I was the one who took away permission for my child to use the internet - and every single one of his teachers tried to tell me they "couldn't" teach with-o it, that no student could learn math, science, language arts, social studies or anything else with-o the internet. By the third one I was laughing and asking why we have textbooks and how is it that I learned those things and even got a college degree - and hwo did they - because we sure didn't have the internet in every class or even every home?? They didn't like me and I got a LOT of protests that i was damaging Wiz with this, but I felt that it was needed to keep him grounded in reality ( I also took away the shows with violence even the Disney ones years before that and got even DOCTORS telling me I would make him a social outcast who had nothing to talk about with his peers if I didn't allow ALL the kids' shows. My reaction to that was that I didn't want my kid to have contact or interaction with anyone who can only talk about tv shows - and boy did THAT upset several medical doctors - and made our tdocs laugh and laugh)

    So I probably am NOT the one to answer this question, Know what I mean??