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Substance Abuse
How has this affected your marriage or relationship with SO?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 720623" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I agree and believe men process very differently than we do. </p><p></p><p>My husband is not my daughter's Dad and of course he came on the scene when she was an adult, but he helped me raise my granddaughter thru her teen years (which turned our hair even more grey) but one thing I learned in the process is that when I was completely caught up in my daughter's or granddaughters intensity and "stuff" it was a signal to me to get out of Dodge. I've mentioned this often, he and I used to take off once or sometimes even twice a week on "road trips." We hit the open road to the ocean, the woods, the city, wherever. A long drive somewhere. The distance from home provided us a sort of sanctuary, a place we could create together which had nothing to do with the "kids" and only to do with US. The US can get lost in the never ending dramas of difficult kids of any age, they do tend to suck up all the air in the room......so we took respites. As we drove out of town, we would spend a bit of time talking about the "kids" and then we would begin to check out the beauty of nature, or the glitz of the city, or some cool place we drove to. It began as a way to escape and turned into our time together where we could be present with each other without any interference.</p><p></p><p>I think our kids can create damage to our relationships because all of our attention goes onto them and all of our conversations are about them and all of our focus is on them. I believe we have to nurture our relationships with our significant others as well as our relationships with our kids.....it's easy to forget that when so much of what we deal with is so intense and in your face....but for me, I wanted my best friend back and to that end, we created OUR time together. All these years later, we still take off a couple of times a week on our mini road trips.</p><p></p><p>Once we established these road trips on a regular basis, our communication improved, we were more on the same page, it enhanced all the parts of our connection....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 720623, member: 13542"] I agree and believe men process very differently than we do. My husband is not my daughter's Dad and of course he came on the scene when she was an adult, but he helped me raise my granddaughter thru her teen years (which turned our hair even more grey) but one thing I learned in the process is that when I was completely caught up in my daughter's or granddaughters intensity and "stuff" it was a signal to me to get out of Dodge. I've mentioned this often, he and I used to take off once or sometimes even twice a week on "road trips." We hit the open road to the ocean, the woods, the city, wherever. A long drive somewhere. The distance from home provided us a sort of sanctuary, a place we could create together which had nothing to do with the "kids" and only to do with US. The US can get lost in the never ending dramas of difficult kids of any age, they do tend to suck up all the air in the room......so we took respites. As we drove out of town, we would spend a bit of time talking about the "kids" and then we would begin to check out the beauty of nature, or the glitz of the city, or some cool place we drove to. It began as a way to escape and turned into our time together where we could be present with each other without any interference. I think our kids can create damage to our relationships because all of our attention goes onto them and all of our conversations are about them and all of our focus is on them. I believe we have to nurture our relationships with our significant others as well as our relationships with our kids.....it's easy to forget that when so much of what we deal with is so intense and in your face....but for me, I wanted my best friend back and to that end, we created OUR time together. All these years later, we still take off a couple of times a week on our mini road trips. Once we established these road trips on a regular basis, our communication improved, we were more on the same page, it enhanced all the parts of our connection.... [/QUOTE]
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