How is difficult child Te Do?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Oct 22, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Just checking he ok, have you been able to talk to him??? Poor boy. I just dropped off clothes because I didn't even have time to grab his coat. sigh, I feel like I just swam the English are you???
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I cashed in all my change in our "piggy banks" to get down here. difficult child 2 and I were directed to a newly built Ronald McDonald house in town so staying now is not a problem. I am just glad we are able to be with him as much as they allow us.

    They d/c'd the prozac immediately and want to put him on a very low dose of tenex twice a day starting now before the prozac is out of his system. difficult child 1 and I are EXTREMELY leery about trying any more medications. I just don't know given the fiasco's we've had so far.

    Because of his "emotional age" he was transferred to the children's wing instead of the adolescent wing. He was doing great because they earn outside recess time twice a day. THAT made his day. He has two issues that are causing him problems. 1) He is a "chewer". He chews gum ALL the time and he's not allowed to have that there. He also chews on the straws from juice boxes. They took that away because they "are afraid he will choke on it". UGH!! He broke a piece off the toothbrush they gave him to chew on but they took that away because "it could break his teeth". I asked what he could chew on and they said they'd have to ask the psychiatrist in the morning. DOUBLE UGH!! 2) He has to be in bed at 8pm. He is a teenager that stays up until 10. He can quietly read in his room but that is it. This for a kid with a reading disability and accomodations they don't have there. He can't have his MP3 so listening to music isn't an option.

    He was NOT happy when I left because of these two issues and it's my fault that he's there. I should have "just left him alone after he ran out of the house with a knife then this wouldn't have happened". I am stressed and tired but sooooo glad I am here instead of over 2 hours away. Thanks for asking.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    TeDo, continued thoughts and prayers. I hope they let him chew something for Gods sakes! Such a small thing to make him happy, yeesh! Big hugs, I'm so glad you're able to be there!
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thinking of you.....UGH....phoshp's make me mad. It is all rules, rules, rules, instead of thinking outside of the box in order to help a kid. That said, phosph is necessary sometimes, and you just make the best of it. I am so glad that you have a place close to stay - that is really awesome. Hang in there - hugs to you all.
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm glad you landed a place to stay nearby. Perhaps he'll appreciate his music player and gum more once he gets out. :)
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    wow our kids are living parallel lives right now....issues: early bed time (he will never be later because too many rules to be on that level it is not made for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) kids at all...all behavior/consequence no identifying triggers and addressing sensory issues. All the activities for free time are reading, sodoku, etc. things he can't do. He is on the young side though he is 14 too. No gum and when he colored all over himself (which they LET him do once then when he didn't stop he got a can never start something and say it is ok with him and expect it to stop when it is new especially...he gets too stuck and it looks like defiance but really he is super stuck) At medication time they decided to pick a power struggle by saying he had to show he swallowed the pills. They didn't before, it was an all of a sudden decision. He has never not taken one and he didn't this time but whoever was there demanded it and when he finally blew they put him in a locked isolation room. He panicked and started kicking walls etc. for an hour and a half! I am just sick thinking I did this to him. I gave him the lamictal. I let him go to a behavior place that is not set up for kids iwth Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I know it is the weekend so there is not any case coordinator or doctor or consult until monday but if he is pushed to new behaviors we are going now to have to UNDO tons of things. There is no Occupational Therapist (OT) so they say they have to wait for accomodations but then the get upset when he can't handle things???? I feel really guilty right now. my sister thinks I should just take him out but I am afraid now he is even more escalated because of the anxiety he is under and he wont have the control to stay safe. I can't believe they dont have more experience with kids on the spectrum... Really, so many of them have anxiety and anger issues. It seems so strange to me. I hope you can help him being able to stay so close. How often can you visit? My difficult child doesn't converse and so visiting is just my showing up and his saying ok now you can go. Sigh.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just want both of you guys to know that you are in my thoughts. The frustration and fear and disappointment you are experiencing breaks my heart. My admiration continues to grow for you both. Hugs. DDD
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Exactly what I am thinking. His sensory needs are not being addressed AT ALL.

    difficult child 1 made it last 2 hours and they treated it as complete defiance. He asked to call me (he gets 1 call a day) abut they wouldn't let him until he was calm for 5 minutes. This in the middle of a meltdown. Yea, right.
    You are not responsible. You are NOT a doctor and as a parent we rely on the "professionals" to give us GOOD information. medications are a crapshoot but they are also necessary in some cases.

    Good luck to you today. Hopefully both our difficult child's will have a good day.
  9. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I hope you get someone at those places to listen to you soon.
  10. keista

    keista New Member

    Continuing to send strength and positive thoughts to both of you.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so in awe of both of you two moms. You are doing such an amazing job in the face of such horrible obstacles. It shouldnt be so hard for parents to get help with our kids. Professionals should be trained better if they are going to be working in these facilities.
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I agree 100% with Janet.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First, gentle hugs to you both. Having our difficult children hospitalized is so difficult yet you are doing what is best for the kids. I'm surprised there is no doctor to talk to over the weekend. Each time that difficult child has been hospitalized they have had a doctor in during the weekends and he/she would usually call or visit with us( if doctor there during visiting time).

    difficult child was always allowed to have crayons (during free or quiet times) to color with since he has such difficulty with reading (I suppose they worry your difficult child would chew on those?). Mine was also allowed to be on the children's side even once he was older.

    Sending prayers your way. ((((hugs))))
  14. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    They finally decided he could chew on a cup. Like any 13 year old kid would be caught walking around with a cup hanging out of his mouth. I talked to the psychiatrist and was told I could bring him something that was meant for chewing such as a teething ring. Yea right!! difficult child 2 and I walked all over Target looking for SOMETHING and something caught our eye that was age-appropriate AND meant for the mouth. A sports mouthguard like football players wear. difficult child 1 loved it and gnawed on it all afternoon and the staff were amazed because they never would have thought of that!! We also found a Lego kit that he can have ONLY after the younger kids have gone to bed and is locked up during the day. They said he could "earn" CD player time at night so we bought him another copy of his favorite CD. Now we need to work out something so he is allowed to call me (so far they've refused because his behavior hasn't "been the greatest"). I am his life-line and his coping mechanism and his calming tool. Twice he has asked for his daily phone call, they refused and he had a major meltdown. DUH!! When I got upset and said I wanted him out of there, they informed me he is on a 72 hour hold and that week-ends don't count according to MN law. NO ONE told me that! Now I know we will be here at least until sometime Wed or Thurs. NOT happy!
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Good job on the creative-solutions department... now if there was just some way to get a creative solution to the phone calls thing...

  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    weekends do too count on the 72 hour hold. Just ask the insurance company paying for one and wanting to kick someone out. If they didnt count, you couldnt admit anyone on a weekend because the 72 hours wouldnt start.
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    TeDo, they put him on a hold even though you voluntarily signed him into a hospital? I didn't know anyone would do that. And that is how you found out? Yikes. I was going to suggest surgical tubing to chew on. We use that often with kids in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) programs, just looks like a straw(so they maybe would object...but how to choke on it??? I dont see it and you can't rip it apart like a real straw which may be the choking concern?? But, the mouth guard was pure genius! my guy has legos too. Our boys are a little bit alike which means they would probably hate eachother, lol. Wouldn't it be cool if kids who were like this and kind of alone in their story could relate to eachother and support eachother, but if that came easy for them they would probably not be Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)
  18. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I was told that Minnesota Law says it doesn't. Not sure what I can do about it though.
  19. buddy

    buddy New Member

    yup here it is, I just looked it up...that just stinks, can you still look for a more appropriate transfer though?

    Subd. 2b.Notice.

    Every person held pursuant to this section must be informed in writing at the time of admission of the right to leave after 72 hours, to a medical examination within 48 hours, and to request a change to voluntary status. The treatment facility shall, upon request, assist the person in exercising the rights granted in this subdivision.

    Subd. 3.Duration of hold.

    (a) Any person held pursuant to this section may be held up to 72 hours, exclusive of Saturdays, Sundays, and legal holidays after admission. If a petition for the commitment of the person is filed in the district court in the county of financial responsibility or of the county in which the treatment facility is located, the court may issue a judicial hold order pursuant to section 253B.07, subdivision 2b.
  20. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Now that it is Monday can you get the therapist or psychiatrist to order calls to you whenever difficult child needs them?