How often do you see psychiatrist?

[Kjs]

There hasn't been any fighting in two weeks...not like before. difficult child is angry with me and I walk away. Broken hearted.

Yesterday I picked him up from school and asked him to work out with me. He complained, didn't want to, back hurt...but said he would because he didn't want me to be mad. Got to the Health club and there were about 20 kids/teachers from his school. One boy called him over and asked if he was going to play...They play dodgeball every Thursday. difficult child DID. I worked out.

We butt heads on ALOT of issues. When we left the club, he said he isn't going to work out everyday because he just isn't taking the time. I made an uncalled for comment I guess about the computer game. He told me he QUIT. Because he doesn't want me mad.

He has a therapist appointment after school today. He doesn't want to go.
It has been weekly now for a few weeks, and have two more weekly appts. for him set up. He asked me if he has to do this every week.

I have no idea. How often do the kids go? I don't want him to hate going. It is about 20 miles away. What do I expect now? I don't want to have to fight with him to go.

by the way...with no computer last night, we played cards, shutbox, arm wrestled, (I won) laughed. Haven't done that in a long time. He was trying.

 

[gcvmom]

We see Pdoctor once every three months as long as everything is stable -- mostly for medication monitoring. He works us in more frequently if someone is having stability issues. It just depends.

When we were seeing a Tdoctor, it was weekly for a few months until we got through whatever problem(s) we were having.

Given what you are coping with and trying to work through, I think I'd be having difficult child go weekly, if not every other week so that your family dynamics and some of his behavior issues can be addressed. You need all the supports you can get for eachother while you are going through this time in your life (the husband issues).

 

[Kjs]

sorry, I did mean therapist

 

[jal]

We usually go to the psychiatrist once every four weeks. We are working with a new one currently and since she put him on a new medication we have an appointment with-her in 4 weeks. We have in home intensive therapy 2 times a week.

 

[hearts and roses]

When working through a particular situation or problem, we would go weekly. Once a plan is in place or the therapist felt that we could move on, the sessions would then be every other week...if there was continues progress, it would be every 3 weeks. We never made it pas that. Well, I did, I went once a month. We were going every 3 weeks with difficult child and then something happened and it became every week for about 4 weeks.

I think this is a good question for the therapist - let him/her feel it out and decide how to proceed.

in my opinion, you're all still working through a lot and getting that weekly check-in support is helpful. However, if going too frequently is going to make it a sticking point with difficult child and he will be further against going at all, then I'd knock it down to every other week. Give a little, get a little. A sort of compromise, if you will.

I'm glad you were able to have some enjoyable time spent with difficult child - I'm really so happy for you. I know how heartbroken you have been over not spending enough 'fun' time with your son.

 

[totoro]

therapist
for me and K- Weekly.
For K she tries really hard to make it fun, because we told her how K hated to go to the last one.
We want this to be long term and for K to feel like she can turn to this woman when she is in a crisis or when she can't talk to us.
We are assuming when K is older. This therapist is hopefully someone that K is going to grow up with.
I am going to mine weekly, because she is still dragging out all of my *stuff*.
If he hates going maybe talk to therapist about how to make it more fun for him, negotiate for part of the apt maybe?
K's therapist knows K loves board games, so they will play a game and talk about things while playing...

 

[Star*]

We saw as a family the therapist once a week. That same week Dude would go with either me or DF taking him. 45 minutes of the hour was dedicated to Dude that last 15 minutes was our "brainstorm" over JUST Dude issues.

Dude has been attending therapy for nearly 11 years once a week AND for family therapy we did for 5 years 1x a week. That has now ceased.

I also in the middle of all that therapy went for myself for 5 years 1x a week to work on my own issues of PTSD from abuse in my marriage and to figure out why I made the poor choices I did in my life, to gain self esteem as a person NOT a parent (those thoughts were re-directed to family therapy)

I'm therapied out after 11 years....I'm much better now (laughing inside my head) and I learned valuable skills in all three therapy sessions that I still put in motion today. I learned coping skills, I learned how to fight fair. I learned how to be a better parent and NOT my sons best friend. I can't be that. I'm his Mom. There were times for YEARS that he hated me and I mean seething, screaming, hate. Now? It's much better. I learned how and where to draw the line in the sand with my own boundaries and it helped me communicate to the rest of the world.

Hugs
Star

Oh and FYI - there were SEVERAL AND MANY times Dude would sit in a chair or hide under the bed screaming - I AM NOT GOING TO THERAPY - but you know what? WE MADE HIM GO. I'm sure there is a larger argument there with other parents about that and have been discussions on the board about it, but we forced him to go. We made him go but didn't FORCE him to speak in therapy. Sometimes he sat in the chair the entire time and just listened to the doctor talk. Sometimes he just played checkers or UNO. (the therapist told us those talks were seed planting events) and the checkers and UNO? Communication and self-confidence builders (Dude ALWAYS won) so in a sense he felt in his childlike mind that he BEAT the therapist. lol. THE MOST important thing to us was that WE established a pattern for him to feel he NEEDED to go - because well, Dude isn't your average difficult child - he's pretty out there and he really NEEDED and still NEEDS the therapy. Recently he stopped going and sought it out on his own terms to help him work things out. - THAT told me that forcing him to go many times paid off for us --because now he CAN tell a judge or a caseworker - I'm 18 and I do go to therapy - that SCREAMS I want help to the average lay person in my humble opinion. AND how could it hurt?

Just my .4 cents worth.

Hugs

 

[totoro]

That's funny Star* because K always hides behind the chair at her psychiatrist apt, a lot of the time we have to drag her in. She has unbuckled at times and tried to bolt.
But we drag her butt in. She will cower and hide under our arms.
But usually halfway through after we sit there and just talk about how things are going, we always talk pretty openly about how she is doing, she will come out after a bit and play with a car or toy, Dr. A will say, "Are you ready talk with me about how you are feeling?"
She also asks K's input on medications and choices and what we are saying. So by the end K feels a little better. Next apt, is still the same! But it is progress and it is teaching her.