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Substance Abuse
How to be a parent to an addict that is 32 yrs old???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 685831" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>All of us, I think, struggle with this. Much of the time, our children, do all they can to stoke the feelings.</p><p></p><p>I do not know your son but I do know that 32 is into middle age. This is something your son must work his way through. For him, that you would insert yourself or allow yourself to be inserted, it would be a mistake. He needs to be able to own the resolution of this, in order to be whole, once again.</p><p></p><p>My son is 27. He much overuses marijuana, which I consider to be a drug. While I fear sometimes, he uses heavier drugs, so far, we think he does not. With my son there are mental illness issues, impaired judgment and difficulty learning. Still, for years I allowed him to stumble and flail, be homeless without support. Only then, was he even a little bit willing to curtail his aggressivity and disrespect, and to own the need to change.</p><p></p><p>With hard drugs there is no room for a parent. None at all. That is what I think.</p><p></p><p>When he is well on the way to recovery, has supports in place, a regular and established treatment and life strategy, friends, work, resources, then, I would feel that there is room for an adult to adult relationship. Only then.</p><p></p><p>At this point there would be inequality in everything. How could that be good for either one of you? How could that support his recovery?</p><p></p><p>Should he feel the need for intensive structure, assistance and support there are many treatment programs throughout the country that provide housing, support, work, training, and recovery resources such as Synanon or Victory Outreach.</p><p></p><p>By the way. I live out West, in a fairly remote town. As far as I know the Heroin epidemic has not reached here, in a bad way. But I hear about it everywhere, with respect to the Eastern States. </p><p></p><p>Who was it? The president, Vice President? Even they are making it part of the public conversation. </p><p></p><p>And Anthony Bourdain, the famous chef was into his forties when he quit and made his life a complete wonder, or so it seems from the outside looking in. There is so much room for hope. Your son can do this. He will do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 685831, member: 18958"] All of us, I think, struggle with this. Much of the time, our children, do all they can to stoke the feelings. I do not know your son but I do know that 32 is into middle age. This is something your son must work his way through. For him, that you would insert yourself or allow yourself to be inserted, it would be a mistake. He needs to be able to own the resolution of this, in order to be whole, once again. My son is 27. He much overuses marijuana, which I consider to be a drug. While I fear sometimes, he uses heavier drugs, so far, we think he does not. With my son there are mental illness issues, impaired judgment and difficulty learning. Still, for years I allowed him to stumble and flail, be homeless without support. Only then, was he even a little bit willing to curtail his aggressivity and disrespect, and to own the need to change. With hard drugs there is no room for a parent. None at all. That is what I think. When he is well on the way to recovery, has supports in place, a regular and established treatment and life strategy, friends, work, resources, then, I would feel that there is room for an adult to adult relationship. Only then. At this point there would be inequality in everything. How could that be good for either one of you? How could that support his recovery? Should he feel the need for intensive structure, assistance and support there are many treatment programs throughout the country that provide housing, support, work, training, and recovery resources such as Synanon or Victory Outreach. By the way. I live out West, in a fairly remote town. As far as I know the Heroin epidemic has not reached here, in a bad way. But I hear about it everywhere, with respect to the Eastern States. Who was it? The president, Vice President? Even they are making it part of the public conversation. And Anthony Bourdain, the famous chef was into his forties when he quit and made his life a complete wonder, or so it seems from the outside looking in. There is so much room for hope. Your son can do this. He will do it. [/QUOTE]
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How to be a parent to an addict that is 32 yrs old???
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