How to be an adult?

Discussion in 'General Parenting Archives' started by Fran, Aug 9, 2005.

  1. Momslittleangels

    Momslittleangels New Member

    I can relate to your concerns Fran. If my difficult child wasn't with b/f (and about every other day there is an issue with their relationship), she would be knocking on our doorstep and I don't want to live with her anymore. easy child is doing sooooo much better with her out of the house and I don't want to go back to the fighting, etc. They have actually built a relationship since they no longer live together. That would fall apart in a nanosecond if difficult child came back home to live. But, we dont' want to see them homeless either.

    So what do we do to keep them out there on their own? Pay their way, as best as we can??? Find "someone" - - "anyone" that will be roommates with them??

    It is a dilema for sure.
  2. Atworkbutsleeping2

    Atworkbutsleeping2 New Member

    Nomad, it is very wise of you to discuss your daughter's ability to have and raise children. My daughter has poor organization maintenance skills and her mental illness has been a considerable concern that was made worse by childbirth. I am lucky in that she understands that she has no business having any more children and has taken steps to prevent future pregnancies by having her tubes tied. Surprisingly, in spite of not being married, having only one child and at the time, being 24, her OB/GYN gave her no problems over tying her tubes due to her mental health situation.
  3. Martie

    Martie Moderator


    My reference to parenthood was misunderstood I think.

    What I was referring to is the type of survey that asks young adults (normals) if they would consider themselves an "adult" IF
    They had a job?
    Moved out of their parents' home?
    Graduated form high school?
    Graduated from college?
    Went into the military?
    Paid their own phone bills? (my favorite!)
    Became a parent?
    Bought a house?
    Paid utility bills?
    Bought a car?

    The item which gets the highest endorsement from respondents is "becoming a parent." It in no way implies that that, in fact, makes the person an adult. This type of survey is about tracking changing self-perception of young adults over time and what it is doing to 20 somethings to have so many of them living with their parents. It is the type of research that late adolescent psychologists love to do and I find interesting.

    Sorry if I caused confusion by mentioning this.


    P.S. I am a big fan of birth control for difficult children, too. Their lives are difficult enough with adding responsibilities prematurely.