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General Parenting
How to choose between two children-help me please
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<blockquote data-quote="wisernow" data-source="post: 714387" data-attributes="member: 20373"><p>So sorry to hear. Been there done that. Difficult son cost me my marriage, much money, my self esteem, and my relationship with younger daughter because like you I was so focused on saving him. Just HIM. Forgot about me, hubby, daughter, cat and dog, friends and family. It was all about HIM. and I let that happen.</p><p></p><p>When it all crashed and burned and it did, I moved out of the marriage, out of the city and started a new life. My daughter by then was in university. She and I are still working on a loving relationship but I know she resents the time her brother took from her. </p><p></p><p>Difficult child is still difficult. Lives in a group home, was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia and has addiction issues and is medication compliant. However he always has been and still is a master manipulator. I see him infrequently and on my terms only. I have grieved the loss of who I knew him to be and have come to terms with the new son. Yes our relationship is different. But doable on MY terms only.</p><p></p><p>I am happier, have a new partner and am renovating a 170 year old house. But there are still nights when the old anxiety of what we as a family went through still haunt me. My shrink says it will for quite some time. My lesson is this. I should have taken care of myself and my daughter a lot earlier. Drama with son will never end. Sorry for your hurting heart. Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wisernow, post: 714387, member: 20373"] So sorry to hear. Been there done that. Difficult son cost me my marriage, much money, my self esteem, and my relationship with younger daughter because like you I was so focused on saving him. Just HIM. Forgot about me, hubby, daughter, cat and dog, friends and family. It was all about HIM. and I let that happen. When it all crashed and burned and it did, I moved out of the marriage, out of the city and started a new life. My daughter by then was in university. She and I are still working on a loving relationship but I know she resents the time her brother took from her. Difficult child is still difficult. Lives in a group home, was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia and has addiction issues and is medication compliant. However he always has been and still is a master manipulator. I see him infrequently and on my terms only. I have grieved the loss of who I knew him to be and have come to terms with the new son. Yes our relationship is different. But doable on MY terms only. I am happier, have a new partner and am renovating a 170 year old house. But there are still nights when the old anxiety of what we as a family went through still haunt me. My shrink says it will for quite some time. My lesson is this. I should have taken care of myself and my daughter a lot earlier. Drama with son will never end. Sorry for your hurting heart. Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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How to choose between two children-help me please
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