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How to deal with the entitled attitude, financial stuff with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 644149" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Thanks all for the input. difficult child had a job for about a year working as a dishwasher at a coffee shop, and he was so responsible and everyone loved him. He got mad at the owner one day and quit, then they rehired him a few weeks later anyway! He quit again because he hates washing dishes. I can understand that, as I've left many jobs to find something better, but he forgot the part about finding something new. I think it would be even easier for him this time around since he turned 18 and a lot of places won't hire anyone who's younger than that. He doesn't have any kind of police record, is presentable when he wants to be, but seems content to languish around and see what kind of handouts he can get from us. He's been earning cigarettes by babysitting for his niece and nephew occasionally (daughter in law pays him in cigarettes).</p><p></p><p>Tanya, I just became acquainted with the Dave Ramsey approach a few months ago and we have been trying the cash system, which I'll have to adopt in full force now. I'm sure when we tell difficult child about the situation, he'll start comparing how much money we gave his sister, how much we spent on this and that, and that's the part that wears me down sometimes. And he has no empathy, it seems. I was down to my last $20 a few days ago, and he wanted his allowance so he could get cigarettes. He had a coupon of some sort. I told him no, it was our last $20 until payday. He took it anyway (I let him, unfortunately) and spent $10 on his bargain e-cig. I foolishly thought he wouldn't want to be that selfish.</p><p></p><p>As my little 3-year-old granddaughter says about herself, "I'm a warrior princess!" I need that kind of confidence in the face of difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 644149, member: 18099"] Thanks all for the input. difficult child had a job for about a year working as a dishwasher at a coffee shop, and he was so responsible and everyone loved him. He got mad at the owner one day and quit, then they rehired him a few weeks later anyway! He quit again because he hates washing dishes. I can understand that, as I've left many jobs to find something better, but he forgot the part about finding something new. I think it would be even easier for him this time around since he turned 18 and a lot of places won't hire anyone who's younger than that. He doesn't have any kind of police record, is presentable when he wants to be, but seems content to languish around and see what kind of handouts he can get from us. He's been earning cigarettes by babysitting for his niece and nephew occasionally (daughter in law pays him in cigarettes). Tanya, I just became acquainted with the Dave Ramsey approach a few months ago and we have been trying the cash system, which I'll have to adopt in full force now. I'm sure when we tell difficult child about the situation, he'll start comparing how much money we gave his sister, how much we spent on this and that, and that's the part that wears me down sometimes. And he has no empathy, it seems. I was down to my last $20 a few days ago, and he wanted his allowance so he could get cigarettes. He had a coupon of some sort. I told him no, it was our last $20 until payday. He took it anyway (I let him, unfortunately) and spent $10 on his bargain e-cig. I foolishly thought he wouldn't want to be that selfish. As my little 3-year-old granddaughter says about herself, "I'm a warrior princess!" I need that kind of confidence in the face of difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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