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How to deal with the entitled attitude, financial stuff with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 644169" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Although he may not like it, just tell him and let it fly. You don't want to live this way AND even if this wasn't going on right now, you owe it to yourselves to save for your own retirement with security and safety first. This is just economics 101. Put your own money mask on before helping others with theirs. You have more than one difficult child so how you will take care of yourselves in retirement, and not being reliant on them is especially important.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yep, this is definitely what you need to do and the better you take on an inner attitude that it is what it is, and if he wants to throw a fit, well, screw it, he can have it but it doesn't change the facts that you need to rein in the finances. Good for you for preparing yourself to be ready to hear it but also, meanwhile, prepare to IGNORE IT!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is why you absolutely need to make a rule for yourself and stick with it - <em><strong>no more money for</strong></em> difficult child's. The big NO. If he can be selfish and take it from you, why is it you can't not be selfish and keep it because you need it. One has to learn with a difficult child that, yes, they will take your very last dime and not even think twice about it. They don't have those same feelings of dignity and self-respect the rest of us do. So when you say NO, you are really only saving yourself from a temper tantrum until you give in OR keeping the money for yourself. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This post quoted above came in before I finished mine so here are my thoughts:</p><p>If anyone ever did this to me or my property they would be out on their arse so quick they wouldn't know what hit em. Since you are financially in temporary survival mode right now, if he so much as touches one thing in the apartment I would call the police and have him removed from the apartment permanently.</p><p></p><p>Edited to add: with two difficult child's in the house I would NEVER go to the Dave Ramsey cash system, it is like bating a trap for rats.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 644169, member: 18366"] Although he may not like it, just tell him and let it fly. You don't want to live this way AND even if this wasn't going on right now, you owe it to yourselves to save for your own retirement with security and safety first. This is just economics 101. Put your own money mask on before helping others with theirs. You have more than one difficult child so how you will take care of yourselves in retirement, and not being reliant on them is especially important. Yep, this is definitely what you need to do and the better you take on an inner attitude that it is what it is, and if he wants to throw a fit, well, screw it, he can have it but it doesn't change the facts that you need to rein in the finances. Good for you for preparing yourself to be ready to hear it but also, meanwhile, prepare to IGNORE IT! This is why you absolutely need to make a rule for yourself and stick with it - [I][B]no more money for[/B][/I] difficult child's. The big NO. If he can be selfish and take it from you, why is it you can't not be selfish and keep it because you need it. One has to learn with a difficult child that, yes, they will take your very last dime and not even think twice about it. They don't have those same feelings of dignity and self-respect the rest of us do. So when you say NO, you are really only saving yourself from a temper tantrum until you give in OR keeping the money for yourself. This post quoted above came in before I finished mine so here are my thoughts: If anyone ever did this to me or my property they would be out on their arse so quick they wouldn't know what hit em. Since you are financially in temporary survival mode right now, if he so much as touches one thing in the apartment I would call the police and have him removed from the apartment permanently. Edited to add: with two difficult child's in the house I would NEVER go to the Dave Ramsey cash system, it is like bating a trap for rats. [/QUOTE]
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