Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Aug 5, 2010.
I need to delete difficult child's facebook account asap. Anyone know how to go about it?
Looks like you log in to the account, click on the My Account menu at the top right corner of the home page, select the Account Settings link, and at the bottom of that page there's a link for 'Deactivate Account'.
Oops ... It's 'Account', not 'My Account' at the top right of the home account page.
I can't log into it- I don't have his pw. I need them to delete it because he's a minor and I'm not allowing him to have it. Actually, I wouldn't have minded but he's done things and said things on there that are illegal and going to get him into bigger trouble. Not to mention, any person can find this because he didn't have enough set to private.
It sounds like you'll have to approach Facebook staff. I have no idea whether they would help you. My gut says they won't. Can you get your son to give you the pw? Any leverage you can use? If he refuses it may be that all you can do is to point out that he has implicated himself in illegal activities on a public forum. Unfortunately, even if the account is deactivated much of its content will still be 'out there'. I'm sorry.
Thanks- he once had a myspace page and I got them to delete it because he was under the allowable age to have one. This might be different though, but still, there should be some way to contact them. difficult child is incarcerated right now awaiting trial. I can't even talk to him unless I visit him this weekend. He will be allowed to call after a certain amount of days. If anyone from the courts sees this before his trial, it's only going to be worse.
Facebook allows users over age 13, so not sure that "underage" is the way to go with reporting it. Regardless, here's a link:
I think your best bet is to contact him when you can and explain why you need the password. Alternately, perhaps guessing his password? Do you know his email password or his email forgotten password questions? If you can access his email, you can send a password reminder from facebook to the email? Just brainstorming. He sure has gotten himself into a mess!
I would do what you can in terms of trying to deactivate it, however if he resists providing the password, perhaps the chips must fall where they may. However I'm guessing anyone in a boat load of trouble will give over that password given the reason for it.
Thanks- I reported and messaged to the FB staff- I ran across their rule for being 13yo. I hope no one from courts see it- a photo drinking beer, on his wall (which he did not make private) "f... the law and cops", etc.
you can always hit the forgot password button. they will ask you to verify your email address - put the email address in there and they will send the password via email. if he used your email addy or you know his, password achieved.
K, not to be a downer here, but do think about what you're doing... He needs to want to change before anything is going to come of anything you are doing to try to help him.
Honestly, I doubt the law enforcement will do much about what's on facebook because with him, they have much bigger fish to fry. If they do, let him own his actions.
Yup, I agree with Shari. However - you are still his legal guardian - facebook should have no qualms removing his account.
Unfortunately, I don't know his email PW either...
Shari, it also comes out in court like this "look at what his mother LETS him do" ...been there done that... and it's an embaressment to me because people who know me can easily find and see him on there. It would on there for Lord knows how many years.
He's going to be in Department of Juvenile Justice somewhere between 12 and 24 mos based on what I'm learning at this point either way. I don't want anymore koi at court to deal with than what I already figure is coming. This is another situation where the only defense the def attny and GAL can use is to blame me.
What if you report it yourself? As part of the stuff he likely did while he was sneaking out after he had cut the money from your pockets.
If you report it, they still likely wont' do anything, but they'll also know its not something you approved of.
I will probably report it to PO either way. I still want it deleted before my bro checks his FB page and difficult child's page pops up as a suggestion for a friend. I'll see if difficult child will give me the PW this weekend or if I find it written down somewhere.
I would keep guessing his pw's either for his email or facebook.
This would have been why I had that keylogger on my computer! Oh....one more thing...do you use firefox? Check tools to see if he ever saved the pw. Im sure it can be saved on IE too but not sure where to look there. Can probably be saved on cellphone too.
Got it! For FB anyway- now to check myspace and any others.... if I can find his email PW it would help lead to anything else I need to get rid of.
Kids are such notorious horrors when it comes to what they post online despite the best parental vigilance - no jury of your peers would ever convict you.
As for convicting difficult child on the basis of what he posted there - natural consequences. But hopefully the fear of having it used against him should make him open up about the password.
I understand you covering yourself, but you need to stop rescuing him. The sooner he crashes and burns, the sooner he will have nowhere to go but up.
There's nothing else they could convict him on for what he has/had online, Marg. There was nothing that went that far. PO already knows what difficult child's attitude is like and I think it's probably obvious to those involved in his court case that he hasn't tried and doesn't care. Deleting it hasn't bailed him out of anything-remember, I am the one who has always called and turned him in for illegal activity or parole violations. But there was nothing illegal to protect him from on the computer.
klmno, what do you do for yourself these days? I know we only get the difficult child part of your life - but I want to make sure you are thinking about you, too.
Aren't you moving soon? How is the job search going? Where are you thinking of moving to? Changing city or state? Let's talk about you.
Start to focus more on yourself. I realize you are still in a very emotional place with your son. But, you have to balance how much time you spend on him right now. Start to think about your life a bit, too.
What will you be doing in 5 years?
I have to be out of my house in a few weeks. I'm getting some assistance from VA about where to go and so forth. However, all assistance was based on being a single parent/vet with a minor child. Originally, difficult child was supposed to be released from detention in mid-Aug, then he got released two weeks early so two days were spent rushing to put some things in order that couldn't be done until he was actually under my roof again- things like pursuing housing. Now that he's out again, I can't access the same type of services so this week has mostly been spent dealing with people who are now trying to help me as a single person, alone, with no child in direct custody. Resumes are sent out as I find any kind of ad that I think I have a chance for. But mostly, other time is spent trying to sell whatever I can as fast as I can. I had a yard sell last weekend and am doing it again this weekend.
IOW, the plans I was pursuing with difficult child in the home cannot be pursued now. The VA is now trying to line up trransitional housing anywhere they can for me but if some miracle happened and I got a job within a week or two, I could go to an apartment instead. So basicly, plans have had to be changed in major ways twice in the past 9 days. I don't won't to end up leavving a housefull of furniture and getting absolutely nothing for it so I have to sell faster now. When we thought difficult child was going to be with me, they could have gotten us into an apt and they had told me to not sell the furniture that we would need- which is why I had not been doing that and now I'm in a crunch to get rid of almost everything.
I thought most on the board knew this kind of stuff but maybe I've PM'd a lot more about it and not made it so clear publicly. I will be checking back on the board later this evening when I stop by again to check email about stuff I'm selling.
Oh- I went back to my first post and realizze the confusion because I did say difficult child had done illegal things and posted them and he's going to get into bigger trouble. The illegal thing was in the photo but PO already knows about it. The stuff that could get him into bigger trouble was posting photos flipping a bird and cursing and saying he didn't care about the law and so forth- that in itself is not illegal, but is certainly stupid for difficult child to be doing. Sorry Marg for the confusion!
Even though the courts might already know this stuff and it will come out at difficult child's trial, I don't want prof people I have worked with in the past and who know difficult child's name to run across that kind of stuff. I don't want a potential employer who might google my name to run across something like that, although I could probably get around that because they wouldn't necessarily know he is my son. It emabaressed me- right or wrong- people do judge a parent on things like this. He had his school and neighborhood listed- all kinds of people we know could have run across this.
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