Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
How to even talk on the phone with my son....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 656663" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, you are asking us which is the correct course to take.</p><p></p><p>What are your choices, Copa?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>For a time, if you like. Time. You have all the time in the world, Copa. You have the limitless time between two breaths. Remain present. You will know just how to respond Copa, <em>if you remain present.</em></p><p></p><p>See?</p><p></p><p>There you are, between one deep, cleansing breath and the next.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>No. There is a quote that goes something like this: Which of us then is it who is so valueless that what passes between us has no meaning?</p><p></p><p>Between one breath and the next Copa, you will know. Maybe, you will hang up. Maybe, you will choose to say something rude. Maybe, the wisdom of the ages will pass directly from the depths of your mother heart right into him.</p><p></p><p>And maybe Copa? When he needs it? Those words will come back to him. Every step <em>is</em> the battle, Copa.</p><p></p><p>You are doing just fine.</p><p></p><p>I have been where you are.</p><p></p><p>Now, I am somewhere a little better.</p><p></p><p>I found that place Copa between two deep, cleansing breaths.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Well of course you can't accept them, Copa. You are not addicted to something that is destroying your capacity to think.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is a terminal illness. For the time is has our children, we can do those things, or say those things, that may help them find the strength somewhere to stand up to it.</p><p></p><p>But we cannot do it for them.</p><p></p><p>We can love them. We can take very good care of ourselves, because there is nothing we can do, and our children suffer.</p><p></p><p>If we do not take care of ourselves, who will believe in them Copa, when they are ready?</p><p></p><p>It is just a thing, addiction.</p><p></p><p>We can do this.</p><p></p><p>First, we reclaim ourselves. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first when the plane is crashing, right?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>Regarding the illness or addiction or whatever way we categorize and try to come to grips with how to do this thing: My daughter has a string of those diagnoses. She is also on disability, because of her illnesses and because of the beating.</p><p></p><p>Because of what the beating took from her.</p><p></p><p>But she is coming back, Copa. Through the force of her will, she is coming back. Through the force of her will, she brought her family back together and is mothering her children.</p><p></p><p>She is working in her field, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Do not lose hope. Do not tell yourself you know the end of the story, because you don't know that, Copa.</p><p></p><p>It wasn't my daughter I rejected, when I refused to accept those diagnoses. It was the life sentence they implied.</p><p></p><p>That is your son. You will never stop loving him, stop remembering how it felt when you met him, when you held him for the first time or the first time he told a joke and you realized this little bit of humanity had a sense of humor.</p><p></p><p>We grow into our kids, we fall in love with them over and over again.</p><p></p><p>All we are doing here on the site is learning how to love them in a way that matters, given the situation.</p><p></p><p>It is not the son or daughter who is bad. It is not you (or me) who is bad. It is the situation that is bad.</p><p></p><p>There doesn't need to be a villain.</p><p></p><p>There only needs to be a rational way to approach what is.</p><p></p><p>And you are here with us now, and that will help. And it will help us too, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 656663, member: 17461"] Copa, you are asking us which is the correct course to take. What are your choices, Copa? For a time, if you like. Time. You have all the time in the world, Copa. You have the limitless time between two breaths. Remain present. You will know just how to respond Copa, [I]if you remain present.[/I] See? There you are, between one deep, cleansing breath and the next. No. There is a quote that goes something like this: Which of us then is it who is so valueless that what passes between us has no meaning? Between one breath and the next Copa, you will know. Maybe, you will hang up. Maybe, you will choose to say something rude. Maybe, the wisdom of the ages will pass directly from the depths of your mother heart right into him. And maybe Copa? When he needs it? Those words will come back to him. Every step [I]is[/I] the battle, Copa. You are doing just fine. I have been where you are. Now, I am somewhere a little better. I found that place Copa between two deep, cleansing breaths. Well of course you can't accept them, Copa. You are not addicted to something that is destroying your capacity to think. Addiction is a terminal illness. For the time is has our children, we can do those things, or say those things, that may help them find the strength somewhere to stand up to it. But we cannot do it for them. We can love them. We can take very good care of ourselves, because there is nothing we can do, and our children suffer. If we do not take care of ourselves, who will believe in them Copa, when they are ready? It is just a thing, addiction. We can do this. First, we reclaim ourselves. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first when the plane is crashing, right? Yes. Regarding the illness or addiction or whatever way we categorize and try to come to grips with how to do this thing: My daughter has a string of those diagnoses. She is also on disability, because of her illnesses and because of the beating. Because of what the beating took from her. But she is coming back, Copa. Through the force of her will, she is coming back. Through the force of her will, she brought her family back together and is mothering her children. She is working in her field, Copa. Do not lose hope. Do not tell yourself you know the end of the story, because you don't know that, Copa. It wasn't my daughter I rejected, when I refused to accept those diagnoses. It was the life sentence they implied. That is your son. You will never stop loving him, stop remembering how it felt when you met him, when you held him for the first time or the first time he told a joke and you realized this little bit of humanity had a sense of humor. We grow into our kids, we fall in love with them over and over again. All we are doing here on the site is learning how to love them in a way that matters, given the situation. It is not the son or daughter who is bad. It is not you (or me) who is bad. It is the situation that is bad. There doesn't need to be a villain. There only needs to be a rational way to approach what is. And you are here with us now, and that will help. And it will help us too, Copa. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
How to even talk on the phone with my son....
Top