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How to Handle This?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 696088" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Years ago J was the target of most of Wiz' violence. It got really bad, to the point of a long hospitalization and then having to have Wiz live somewhere else. He has worked hard to change and to build a very great relationship with J. My father never accepted that the violence occurred, not even when J had dark bruising around her throat. Even when we lived with my parents while my husband was in grad school, I couldn't trust my dad to babysit because he would go take a nap and leave the kids alone. We stopped doing that when J was 3 or 4 because she always had new bruises or injuries if the kids were unsupervised. My father simply wouldn't accept that it was needed.</p><p></p><p>He is not Italian. German ancestry is allllllllllllllll through his family. I think that putting more value on boys than on girls is common in many cultures. When I was 9 or 10 my mother finally insisted he start buying gifts for me for holidays rather than relying on her to do it all. I got belt buckles with deer or guns on them for quite a while. The only activities I did with my dad were things like engine repair, car repair, going to the gun range, etc.... If it was a 'girly' type thing, he really wasn't involved. He loves me, and my daughter, but there is a real disconnect between that and his view of our integrity and personality. </p><p></p><p>I still don't know what I am going to do. I did see Wiz this morning at the grocery though. It was slow so he spent quite some time helping us, lol. He manages the health and beauty stuff, and the organic stuff, at a local grocery.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 696088, member: 1233"] Years ago J was the target of most of Wiz' violence. It got really bad, to the point of a long hospitalization and then having to have Wiz live somewhere else. He has worked hard to change and to build a very great relationship with J. My father never accepted that the violence occurred, not even when J had dark bruising around her throat. Even when we lived with my parents while my husband was in grad school, I couldn't trust my dad to babysit because he would go take a nap and leave the kids alone. We stopped doing that when J was 3 or 4 because she always had new bruises or injuries if the kids were unsupervised. My father simply wouldn't accept that it was needed. He is not Italian. German ancestry is allllllllllllllll through his family. I think that putting more value on boys than on girls is common in many cultures. When I was 9 or 10 my mother finally insisted he start buying gifts for me for holidays rather than relying on her to do it all. I got belt buckles with deer or guns on them for quite a while. The only activities I did with my dad were things like engine repair, car repair, going to the gun range, etc.... If it was a 'girly' type thing, he really wasn't involved. He loves me, and my daughter, but there is a real disconnect between that and his view of our integrity and personality. I still don't know what I am going to do. I did see Wiz this morning at the grocery though. It was slow so he spent quite some time helping us, lol. He manages the health and beauty stuff, and the organic stuff, at a local grocery. [/QUOTE]
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