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How to let go?
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 71708" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Hiya Guru,</p><p></p><p>Detaching is so difficult. But you did the hard part, you really did. Possession is 9/10ths of the law and all that jazz.</p><p></p><p>So, part of letting go is realizing that no matter how much you worry or lose sleep, it will not help your child. It will not change the outcome of his/her actions. He/she is going to do the same thing whether you worry, whether you do backflips, or whether you run a marathon. Your actions have absolutely no bearing on their outcome. </p><p></p><p>What your actions DO do, is drain you of necessary energy. This is energy you would otherwise use to get through your day. You cannot get that time or energy back. Bottom line is, you are not responsible for their happiness. Wondering about whether or not they have it will not change it if they don't. Especially if they are not happy, there is nothing hat you can do to make them happy.</p><p></p><p>It sounds so cold and calculating. I am not suggesting that you stop caring for your child. I mean to say, stop obsessing over their happiness and other comforts. It is up to them now. </p><p></p><p>(((hugs))) we have a lot of detaching moms on the board at this time; hopefully you all can exchange ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 71708, member: 3647"] Hiya Guru, Detaching is so difficult. But you did the hard part, you really did. Possession is 9/10ths of the law and all that jazz. So, part of letting go is realizing that no matter how much you worry or lose sleep, it will not help your child. It will not change the outcome of his/her actions. He/she is going to do the same thing whether you worry, whether you do backflips, or whether you run a marathon. Your actions have absolutely no bearing on their outcome. What your actions DO do, is drain you of necessary energy. This is energy you would otherwise use to get through your day. You cannot get that time or energy back. Bottom line is, you are not responsible for their happiness. Wondering about whether or not they have it will not change it if they don't. Especially if they are not happy, there is nothing hat you can do to make them happy. It sounds so cold and calculating. I am not suggesting that you stop caring for your child. I mean to say, stop obsessing over their happiness and other comforts. It is up to them now. (((hugs))) we have a lot of detaching moms on the board at this time; hopefully you all can exchange ideas. [/QUOTE]
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