If you have been following my other post you know we signed difficult child into a 30 day treatment, jail was the other option. Please keep in mind we just found out about the addiction 2 weeks ago and he admits to it and wants to start a new life. This isn't anything we have been through with him before. He has told us what friends he has been doing this with and what old friends are doing it. As far as I can tell, he admits to everything he has done, he doesn't seem to be hiding anything. Since we kicked him out 6 yrs ago, he stayed distant, not gone just distant. That changed when he had a baby in Sept. I then got to know his girlfriend and have a good open relationship with her and am very involved with my gd. girlfriend needs support, raising her 6 yr old son and new baby alone. Her parents are both alcohlics and do not assist her too much. The sons father has him half the week, I have the baby once a week overnight. If I didn't work, I could do more. I am a 41 yr old gm, and still raising my daughter, I have a lot of years left to work. Ok so difficult child has 2 weeks left. He is looking into an outpatient program and is working with a counselor that he admires. He has told me about the guy and that he looks up to him, that he is 21 yrs recovered and difficult child said his story is the same as his and he really sees himself in the guy. He said he has learned a lot in his classes. He said the counselor is going to make calls for him to get him into a place as an outpatient. I am unsure if this is good for him, but we know it is out of my hands. difficult child did once mention coming home here, but I am not sure he is still thinking that. I am afraid to ask LOL he has 2 weeks and I do not want to get all concerned if he changes the plan. BUT I do know I am 45 mins away from his girlfriend and daughter and I know he doesn't think he can go without seeing the baby everyday. girlfriend mentioned he said that to her. I do not know how to tell him that he lost the privilage of seeing her everyday when he chose this path. He has to earn that back. I don't know what the court will do, but assume they will go with his outpatient plan, probation and drug testing. He doesn't have anywhere else to go that can support his recovery but here. His father's isn't a good place for him at all. No where else to go that is of support. We can offer him support, but will only do so with rules and conditions. Like school, work, clean and so on. He will have no car so it will strain my life to drive him to these meetings and such. I am willing, but only if he is 1000000000000 % serious of changing. He hasn't asked for anything in 6 years, so coming here would be to him, a loss of pride. If he does want to do that, then it tells me he is doing it with the intention of change all around. He knows we kicked him out at 17 for weed and would do it at 22 for this stuff in a heart beat. So assuming this goes this way... and he comes here. Any suggestions on how to prepare for that? I work 3rd shift and sleep during the day. ANd daughter and I go to the gym everyday too. We have a routine I do not want to change on daughter, I dont want her to resent difficult child because her life had to change so much, ya know. husband works 1st and stays late all the time as they are busy at his job, somedays he is gone 630am-10pm. daughter is 14 and in school all day. So how does this effect difficult child and his needs? Anyone here been through this? Any advice on how to prepare and handle what difficult child's needs will be. Do we have to babysit him, can he be left alone? How do we support him, help him but not enable him? I am thinking difficult child will be busy with meetings, school, and work. Seeing his daughter when we can get her here, maybe 2-3 times a week. I have her one overnight every week and maybe girlfriend can bring her here another day for a visit. I do not want them to be together everyday, as I know he needs time to get his life together before they get into anything that serious again. She agrees. He has a lot of proving to do to us all. I cant get to any support meetings... none close by, not much time either. Any good books on dealing with addicts? When do I approach the subject of him living here? Is he ready at 2 weeks? Do I write about it in a letter? I just don't know what he can manage to grasp as of now, without having his full attention and seeing his reaction. I am thinking a good talk with husband first. Then us two with girlfriend, see if she is on board with what we expect. Then telling difficult child this is our conditions. Sound right? Any advice will be good. Thanks.