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How to stop enabling abusive narcissistic entitled adult children
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 754036" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>It was Maya Angelou who said, to paraphrase<em>, when somebody shows you who they are, believe them.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>For me this is true for everybody except for our children. I believe our children act out in all kinds of ways, and can do and say horrible things, and still be inside, themselves. I believe they can return to us. But I am in the very small minority here on this board that believes that it may serve us, if we can hold a beacon of hope that our beloved children will return. Not in self-sacrifice or in denial of the reality of their self-immolation. But in hope. </p><p></p><p>I believe we kill off a part of ourselves when we close off completely to the potential of goodness in our children. It's as if to say that we failed, deluded ourselves, and lived in vain. When we kill off our hope. We pay such a price when we close off to that part of us that loved them with all our hearts and all of our souls.</p><p></p><p>To keep open to the possibility of the sweetness of love, in ourselves and in our children, is not to accept abuse. It's not to deny the reality of bad behavior. It's to acknowledge that as long as we live we are their parents, and they are our beloved children. </p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">It's not because the way they live and act makes them worthy of our hope and love but because we are worthy of that, of loving them. We are strong enough to love in the darkness and we deserve that.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 754036, member: 18958"] It was Maya Angelou who said, to paraphrase[I], when somebody shows you who they are, believe them. [/I] For me this is true for everybody except for our children. I believe our children act out in all kinds of ways, and can do and say horrible things, and still be inside, themselves. I believe they can return to us. But I am in the very small minority here on this board that believes that it may serve us, if we can hold a beacon of hope that our beloved children will return. Not in self-sacrifice or in denial of the reality of their self-immolation. But in hope. I believe we kill off a part of ourselves when we close off completely to the potential of goodness in our children. It's as if to say that we failed, deluded ourselves, and lived in vain. When we kill off our hope. We pay such a price when we close off to that part of us that loved them with all our hearts and all of our souls. To keep open to the possibility of the sweetness of love, in ourselves and in our children, is not to accept abuse. It's not to deny the reality of bad behavior. It's to acknowledge that as long as we live we are their parents, and they are our beloved children. [LEFT][FONT=trebuchet ms][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)] It's not because the way they live and act makes them worthy of our hope and love but because we are worthy of that, of loving them. We are strong enough to love in the darkness and we deserve that.[/COLOR][/FONT][/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
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How to stop enabling abusive narcissistic entitled adult children
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