I'm a newbie on this sight...so hello everyone. I have a major problem as a parent. I have 3 sons, but the one son, who is the youngest,has put our family in 4 years of pure hell. It his short span of life he has had 2 PFA violations, drugs, drinking, dui, weed, shop lifting, stealing money from us, breaking things in the house, cocain, and now he is a Herion Addict. My child is now 20, and has been in and out of jail several times. He begged to come back home. He had to get surgery on his foot and I set down the rules. I just found out a few days ago that he stole about $1,000.00 from us. I confronted him and he told me he needed help and he was on Heroin and he wanted to quit. He is on probation. During this weekend I helped him with detox (how horrible to go through). I told him that on Monday I was calling his Drug Therapist (who my son was not honest with) and I was going to let the Therapist determine what was best for him. I would help him any way if he was serious about getting off Herion. I did not call the police, or his probation officer, but I did call the Drug Therapist, and told him about my son's Heroin problem and that I was leaving the decision up to the Therapist to deal with any way he could and if my son did not follow through, he could then call Probation, because I was to weak to do so. I have received a lot of flack from his siblings, and they are angry, that I didn't call the police or probation officer and that I did not kick him out of our house. They said that I have enabled him to long and it is messing up the rest of the family. I am weak!!!! I want to throw up when I think about my son's problems, I have panic attacks, and I am constantly looking out the window every time I hear a car slam in our parking lot, I can't sleep, I am preoccupied by my son's problems and I don't know how to let go!!!! My husband hates my son, and will not talk to him, and always puts me in the middle. My husband will scream and scream at me about our son. He even told me he hopes our son overdoses and kills himself on Herion. If my son has friends over, he tells the friends to get the hell off his property, and makes them leave. I have had my son to Psychiatrist, councilors, I've even gone to counciling myself but still I have such a strong need to help him, and I know, I can't help my son, only he can. I thought by calling his Drug Therapist and telling him what is going on, that I was giving someone else, that is not so close to the situation, the power to deal with my son's problem. Which was a huge step for me. I've never been so scared in all my life for my son. It makes me sick!!! I wish I could be stronger. How do I stop enabling. The feeling to fix things and try to make things right is so overwhelming. Yes, I know what I should probably be doing as a parent, which is setting boundaries, and if my son doesn't conform to the rules, follow through, but I sometimes do not. I probably would have had him arrested this last time, but for the first time, he begged me for help, that he wanted to get help, but was afraid to ask for help, because he does not want to go back to jail, he just wants to get off Heroin, but he can't. It is the first time he was honest with me, and I couldn't just turn my back on him. If my son is serious, I will be there for support, but I know he is the only one that can help himself. I just am scared to death, that he will relapse and steal more money, and keep doing Heroin. I just want to see him become a normal person again. HELP ME!!! I'm scared and disgusted with myself for being so weak! How can I learn to be a stronger parent without the feeling of panic and sheer terror! HOW?