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Family of Origin
How to truly go no contact if you sadly must
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 744423" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I completely understand being better off without contact. When I was younger it was the only way I got perspective and realized there was nothing wrong with me. I always believed their criticism and anger towards me were justified because there was something wrong with me. Ha! More like something wrong with them, a bunch of unhappy people. Once I got that perspective my life changed for the better in so many ways. Even my career took off. It was weird. Just loving myself and having that confidence in myself made such a difference. I'm glad I have a relationship with them, but it's certainly not the loving family relationship I would like. They are very good to my daughter and granddaughter, so I try to remember that when they are driving me nuts. Also, my mother's cancer has been gone, but her eyesight is failing and my dad has dementia. My dad used to be a mean, demanding person. Since the dementia he is easygoing and kindly. It's bizarre. But I think their age related issues have also made it easier for me to have compassion for them and feel differently. </p><p></p><p>I know it sucks. Even when you know it's best to be away from your family, you still want a family. No matter how old you are you want to have supportive, loving, caring parents. I have tried to use the negative experiences with my family as an impetus to be more compassionate with others, as we never know what they are going through. Also, my dogs have really helped me heal over the years. The trust and love I have with them is what I always wanted from my family. Might sound crazy to some, but it works for me. Sending peace and love to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 744423, member: 11235"] I completely understand being better off without contact. When I was younger it was the only way I got perspective and realized there was nothing wrong with me. I always believed their criticism and anger towards me were justified because there was something wrong with me. Ha! More like something wrong with them, a bunch of unhappy people. Once I got that perspective my life changed for the better in so many ways. Even my career took off. It was weird. Just loving myself and having that confidence in myself made such a difference. I'm glad I have a relationship with them, but it's certainly not the loving family relationship I would like. They are very good to my daughter and granddaughter, so I try to remember that when they are driving me nuts. Also, my mother's cancer has been gone, but her eyesight is failing and my dad has dementia. My dad used to be a mean, demanding person. Since the dementia he is easygoing and kindly. It's bizarre. But I think their age related issues have also made it easier for me to have compassion for them and feel differently. I know it sucks. Even when you know it's best to be away from your family, you still want a family. No matter how old you are you want to have supportive, loving, caring parents. I have tried to use the negative experiences with my family as an impetus to be more compassionate with others, as we never know what they are going through. Also, my dogs have really helped me heal over the years. The trust and love I have with them is what I always wanted from my family. Might sound crazy to some, but it works for me. Sending peace and love to you. [/QUOTE]
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How to truly go no contact if you sadly must
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