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How to you continue to take care of your mental health?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 215652" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>When one feels angery and out of control we all need calming reassurance. </p><p>For me working on my own thoughts with other adults (like this project) and clearing my own emotional states so that the time I am with my child I am attending to </p><p>the role and riguers of parent.</p><p>A stradigy is vital. (You have one)</p><p></p><p>In my life the essential need I have is to speak with a voice that I am not annoyed by...and to use words that are direct and clear and not all draped in rancour and</p><p>stinky with toxicity and to give possitive attention to the praiseworthy and to give </p><p>simple direction that are immediately acted on. "Landry" pointing toward the washer..." "Bedroom inspection in 10 minutes...nine minutes,,,"</p><p>regression type behavor maybe away of communicating...how does it feel to have one socially challenging condition (ADHD) and now another?</p><p>I often think that getting stuck in routeens of anger is a way of being conected when there is no other engaging way of communicating. Or nothing to do.</p><p>Is having a 13 year old make their own meals a solution? Could he prepare part or all of a meal for the family? Is finding ways to include him toward contributing more important for him to grow than greating greater distances when, perhaps he is feeling far away? </p><p>Do you have a friend who has chids and you could, like. swap care one day a week so that behaving (if it works that way for your kids, it does with my one) is happening one more day per week? Say, just for dinner...or whenever.</p><p>What would inspire you to co-ordinate a more fansinating learner moment for each of your children or all of them together?</p><p>It is so so hard to be fresh and entusiastic and to be caught up in repetitive behavor. </p><p>Also when are the stops in your home. The transitional cues the rests between one thing...like self amusement to homework and dinner prep-dinner and clean up</p><p>and the after until dinner. Can you introduce something that pins the calm from one to another stage to "try out" time without the energy vacuum that having a fit is in a family? Can you lead him into a specific place where he might feel safer and </p><p>look at him in the eye and listen and reflect back "ii can see you are angery. did it frustrate you when... I saw that...are you feeling that feeling grow less important?</p><p>So often when I hear parents say that "that(whateveer it was) didn't work" I think that the oppertunity to make a pattern that can work takes so much reapplication</p><p>Like trying a new food. </p><p>What makes adults think that our children are going to adopt the actions that we want them to learn when we are not instilling it. I am not suggesting that a melt down is "your fault" but our children are giving us the chance to take them to a revelation of some type. Like the "wa-wa" moment in Helen Keller the movie.</p><p>Fight fire with fire and the fire gets bigger</p><p>Where is the catayst to your sons communicating the need for attention without the melt? Can you introduce the insight? CAn you really look and see again this person and add the learning moment?</p><p>And do do some more just for you. Nap...walk...paint...something that restores your inner peace. </p><p>I am amazed by the mothers who are so involved and do so much for their families,</p><p>as you are. It is a relief to hear others with these challenges struggle struggle struggle too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 215652, member: 6271"] When one feels angery and out of control we all need calming reassurance. For me working on my own thoughts with other adults (like this project) and clearing my own emotional states so that the time I am with my child I am attending to the role and riguers of parent. A stradigy is vital. (You have one) In my life the essential need I have is to speak with a voice that I am not annoyed by...and to use words that are direct and clear and not all draped in rancour and stinky with toxicity and to give possitive attention to the praiseworthy and to give simple direction that are immediately acted on. "Landry" pointing toward the washer..." "Bedroom inspection in 10 minutes...nine minutes,,," regression type behavor maybe away of communicating...how does it feel to have one socially challenging condition (ADHD) and now another? I often think that getting stuck in routeens of anger is a way of being conected when there is no other engaging way of communicating. Or nothing to do. Is having a 13 year old make their own meals a solution? Could he prepare part or all of a meal for the family? Is finding ways to include him toward contributing more important for him to grow than greating greater distances when, perhaps he is feeling far away? Do you have a friend who has chids and you could, like. swap care one day a week so that behaving (if it works that way for your kids, it does with my one) is happening one more day per week? Say, just for dinner...or whenever. What would inspire you to co-ordinate a more fansinating learner moment for each of your children or all of them together? It is so so hard to be fresh and entusiastic and to be caught up in repetitive behavor. Also when are the stops in your home. The transitional cues the rests between one thing...like self amusement to homework and dinner prep-dinner and clean up and the after until dinner. Can you introduce something that pins the calm from one to another stage to "try out" time without the energy vacuum that having a fit is in a family? Can you lead him into a specific place where he might feel safer and look at him in the eye and listen and reflect back "ii can see you are angery. did it frustrate you when... I saw that...are you feeling that feeling grow less important? So often when I hear parents say that "that(whateveer it was) didn't work" I think that the oppertunity to make a pattern that can work takes so much reapplication Like trying a new food. What makes adults think that our children are going to adopt the actions that we want them to learn when we are not instilling it. I am not suggesting that a melt down is "your fault" but our children are giving us the chance to take them to a revelation of some type. Like the "wa-wa" moment in Helen Keller the movie. Fight fire with fire and the fire gets bigger Where is the catayst to your sons communicating the need for attention without the melt? Can you introduce the insight? CAn you really look and see again this person and add the learning moment? And do do some more just for you. Nap...walk...paint...something that restores your inner peace. I am amazed by the mothers who are so involved and do so much for their families, as you are. It is a relief to hear others with these challenges struggle struggle struggle too. [/QUOTE]
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How to you continue to take care of your mental health?
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