hubs scheduled surgery

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Dixies_fire, Apr 8, 2013.

  1. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    I realize that I am new and not many people are connected with my story with my difficult child and my hubs.

    Basically the gist is:
    My husband while we were on deployment together started experience some crazy symptoms blood pressure was high and he was having bad headaches and was passing out he endured this for four months at the end of our deployment we returned in August with no relief from the symptoms but real life started to step in
    It took an additional fourish months to get docs to help and get an MRI, he was approaching time for him to move from our duty station in Tennessee to his new duty station in colorado and he was going to have to go alone for six months because I was finishing my enlistment.
    Anyway they so the MRI they see some major issue with his sinuses and immediately start trying to delay his orders so he can have further test and schedule surgery. The sinuses I am referring to are the ones in the forehead not so much the ones under the eyes. His pcs date is approaching they are telling us it will be delayed six days before he is supposed to leave he's told too bad can't delay your orders they will handle your issues in colorado.
    This was a big set back not only because of his unbearable pain and insane blood pressure but financially because we had not been saving for his move or the separate bills we would have with two house holds. He gets to colorado he goes to see doctors they take his blood pressure they don't put him on anything they do five different monitorings which last five days of checking his blood pressure they try him on several different beta blockers but they aren't perusing the sinus issue at all or treating the headaches.

    He develops an incredible drinking problem he is unmedicated in pain alone afraid he's going to die and still maintaining a crazy soldiers schedule. He goes and tries to get help starts seeing a t doctor and starts attending substance abuse classes. I became pregnant during one of his trips home so he knows I am coming he knows we are going to have a baby on top of my kids and he's trying to do right and get his issues resolved. His unit begins putting pressure on him to cancel his appointments says they are interfering with work. He does. I get here he has slowed the drinking down to a trickle but otherwise is still very sick.

    He is mostly normal from June till November but the drinking starts increasing but we aren't fighting and things are okay a week before I am due to have our son he leaves for a field exercise he comes home. He starts drinking, he's mean he stops helping with the house he stops talking to me for the most part I have The baby and things just continue to get worse.
    I am alone pretty much with three kids one of them a difficult child with a difficult child husband and no help. Anyway last month in January he has a mental break very dramatic and painful and I wasn't sure if I should stay or go. He gets admitted to the psychiatric hospital he's there for about two weeks. His unit keeps him in the barracks for an additional two weeks. They start letting him go to therapy and back to substance abuse classes they are going to medically retire him for the issues though so that is a new stress we don't know exactly when that will happen they have changed his medications three times in the last month.
    The last medication change resulted in over dose he can't drive off post. His memory has turned to **** or relationship has gone to koi the over dose had him in the hospital for a week. I had to call this agency in the army called the inspector general over and over again to get them to look at his MRI results and start dealing with his sinus issue again and his blood pressure..... Since then he's had a ct scan and they have set him up for his surgical consult his therapists he has 3 have finally jumped on the train and said they don't know what's going to happen unless he gets surgery that his blood pressure and the pain he's in are at the very least not helping his mental state. His surgical consult is in three days now.

    We are both concerned about what is going to happen, when surgery will be scheduled, if its cancer, if they will even biopsy the sinus they are removing like they should to check for cancer. Will life go back to normal?

    That's where I am right now and I am going to start the process of getting my difficult child child a diagnosis and the help she needs not this week but next week.

    Please send me good vibes, prayers positive energy this might be the most important month of my life up till this point.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh my word! I remembered you said he had this medical condition that was serious. I'm so ashamed of how we treat our service people. He has suffered so terribly and you as well.

    I will pray for your family. For strength and peace for you. Check in and vent as much add you need. I wish you could have some real life sport but that is probably tough with all you have on your plate.

    Big hug to you....
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow. I'm so very sorry. This sounds so stressful. You are doing a great job of holding together. I have no answers, but send my love and hope everything goes well.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my, what a stressful and frustrating time for you, I am so sorry. Of course you have my best vibes and prayers and positive energy going out to you and your family. I hope this all gets resolved very, very quickly. Many big hugs to you.................
  5. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Much thanks. One of the reasons it is so stressful is because there is such a stigma in the military community even though so many people are going through similar situations with their mental health. Just makes me nervous
  6. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Saying prayers for your family. Wishing you all the best of luck.
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Sending prayers as well. This might not be a mental health issue. They don't know what it is. I'm praying the surgery finds out and fixes what is wrong.
  8. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    The hope is that most of the schizophrenic behaviors, the anger and the more extreme symptoms go away because they are all new, he wasn't like this a year ago and most of it started six months ago. So I'm hoping not that it's not a mental health issue or at least not a permanent one. I want my husband back. We've been married less than two years and I am tired of spending my nights feeling used and mentally abused by the behaviors that none of the medications can control.
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Sending prayers and hoping that this is due to a physical cause that they can fix easily.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    If the behaviors weren't there six mo's ago, I'm thinking that surgery is a very good idea. Something could be pressing on an area of his brain and once it's removed it will improve things. Plus, they have to figure out if that's connected with-his sinuses.
    I am upset that the military did not take his medical issues seriously. I don't suppose there's any recourse.
    It also really ticks me off that they still live in the Stone Ages where they think that mental health issues are something you can just "get over" like a cold.
    Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.
  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This sounds awful. I'm so sorry for the run around he has been given. This is a horrible way to treat our service men and women. I am thinking some of this behavior is tied to his sinus issues. The closest and easiest path to the brain is the sinuses. I would keep pushing for the surgery ASAP so you can deal with whatever they find.

    Don't give up, you need to advocate for your family.
  12. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Scheduled may 16th !
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Hang in there for one month.
  14. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    His unit commander decided to scare the poo out of my husband today and told him he probably wouldn't be in the army by the time his surgery is scheduled in less than a month. He also was trying to say that he will not be medically discharged but generally discharged. I spoke with legal and they pretty much said that he can't do that but I think it's so freaking tacky of them to do that he has been through hell two years of this and two hospital stays in two months, feels like he's losing his mind and we have no nest egg to move right this second and we live on post. If they generally discharged him a he wouldn't get his surgery which is their fault! He needs it. And b he wouldn't get his g I bill and c I don't think he could draw unemployment .
    People should be held accountable for being an ******* if this isn't true this has not only scared him but me and our children. This should be criminal. For the record I don't believe try can do what he said they were going to as we have no paper work and he hasn't received any official reprimand not has he come close to our processing none of this stuff can be done in 30 days. It just makes me madder that someone could be so cruel. But thank god Terryn surgery is scheduled I'm still hopeful it will cause a tremendous difference.
  15. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    That is very cruel. If you keep in touch with legal could you stop this idiot if he should try that? Its people like that who need a really horrible psychotic episode just to teach them some empathy.
  16. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Going to legal after lunch. Sorry my auto correct is insane. Still a little scared. I told him to quit behaving as if he would be at work forever and take steps to get this stuff done so we aren't rail roared but I'm pretty sure that we would be screwed no matter what if they kick us out in the next 30 days. My unemployment has run out and we have already decided not to stay here because of cost of living. With the medical discharge they are required to send our stuff to where we plan to live, with a general I don't know if they pay for that or not. Just too many questions at this point.
  17. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Spent some time with husbands T doctor today and discussed the things I was seeing. He did not put him back on anxiety medication which I am actually fine with because he hasn't been that bad for the past week or so except when he has good cause. T doctor said he would talk to other t doctor and see if he could push for more benefits/ different discharge. He seemed hopeful about that but positive about what the va would do for him and even of the worst was true and he got the worst type of discharge the va could still help even if he didn't get his g.i. Benefits. I took hubs to the lawyers just so he could hear in person what they told me over the phone that his unit commander is blowing smoke and there is no way he's going to e dishonorable or generally discharged. Things look good for today but to be honest I am now exhausted and am going to try to go nap withy 5mo old.
  18. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    enjoy that well-earned nap!
  19. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    I'm so very, very glad for you! Our little town is so vet-rich that it's difficult for jerks to make life difficult, as everyone knows someone who can help. I'm sorry you feel so alone where you are, and I'm happy to hear you're getting what sounds like competent help. I exist on this planet today thanks to the US Military, and I'm not exaggerating. I wish you all well and a good resolution.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Number one I want to thank you guys for your service to our country being in the military. Give your husband a gentle hug from this military mom. I will always consider myself a military mom even though my son is now out of the military. I just dont feel like its something I can shed like an old coat. I adore our military because my family is stock full of men who have served.

    I am quite ashamed at the way you guys have been treated. I am well aware that the powers that be have been trying to get out of paying for service related ptsd issues by attempting to go back into a recruits medical records and deciding the recruit "might have had some sort of mental health issue prior to enlisting". That is so much bull hockey. If that is the case, they shouldnt have allowed them to enlist in the first place. If they did, then they have to take responsibility for their haste in not checking out a person well enough before happily sending them off to fight. That just irks me.

    I am also sorry you have to wait a whole month for this. Dont you have access to both Champus and Tricare? Cant you go to a private doctor instead of just using the doctor's at the VA? I think I would be hard pressed not to find someone to get a second opinion if you can. I live near the largest Army base on the east coast and I know that some of the soldiers go to private doctors as well as go on base. I also know when my son was in the Marines he didnt always go on base.

    Anyway...I only hope for the best for your family. I also have a feeling that if the symptoms started occurring in the past six months that it is not a mental health issue but something going on that is organic. Give everyone in your family a big hug from me.