Huge news today!
- Thread starter PatriotsGirl
- Start date
lovemyson1
Well-Known Member
As a fellow Christian, I truly believe that God knows what He's doing. Keep trusting PG! Keep praying! It will happen the way He plans for it to. Sending positive thoughts & hugs your way!
stressedmama
Active Member
Just catching up PG. Wonderful news about M and Connor. I think a transition period is the best idea. And from my perspective (having guardianship of GS) it's more important for Connor than M. M understands and can communicate what she's feeling. Connor can not.
Hubs and I discussed this a while back about any kind of transition between difficult child and GS would be very incremental. However, I don't think that's going to be an issue in our case.
She's been clean for 8 months today. Started a whole new life in another town with a boyfriend. His parents think she's the best thing since sliced bread...They fronted money for her to attend a certificate program to better her job opportunities, bought her a new laptop (since she hocked the one we gave her), letting her live there rent free, wholly supporting her while she spends a month not working "preparing" for her tech course. And continuing to support her while taking full time classes when they being next month. It was all their idea. They said they wanted to help her get her life on track so she can get her baby back.
That's all good in theory...but reality is, she's not coming back for him. At least that's the way hubs and I see it. She's happy in her little bubble, having someone else support her while not working. Same story, different parents.
I'm happy your lives are taking a different direction. That M is getting it together, that Connor will have his mommy back, and you and your hubs will have your lives back.
Best wishes for a wonderful outcome!
Hubs and I discussed this a while back about any kind of transition between difficult child and GS would be very incremental. However, I don't think that's going to be an issue in our case.
She's been clean for 8 months today. Started a whole new life in another town with a boyfriend. His parents think she's the best thing since sliced bread...They fronted money for her to attend a certificate program to better her job opportunities, bought her a new laptop (since she hocked the one we gave her), letting her live there rent free, wholly supporting her while she spends a month not working "preparing" for her tech course. And continuing to support her while taking full time classes when they being next month. It was all their idea. They said they wanted to help her get her life on track so she can get her baby back.
That's all good in theory...but reality is, she's not coming back for him. At least that's the way hubs and I see it. She's happy in her little bubble, having someone else support her while not working. Same story, different parents.
I'm happy your lives are taking a different direction. That M is getting it together, that Connor will have his mommy back, and you and your hubs will have your lives back.
Best wishes for a wonderful outcome!
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Well, I found out what happened...and I wanted to go "mama bear" on some people. Last Wednesday evening, she was trying to board the van to go to church. If they do not have their children with them, they must attend church. Well, she went to sit in the first seat and the person sitting there said no, so and so is sitting here. Then she went to the second seat and that person claimed someone else was sitting there (the person that was supposedly going to sit there was not even on the property). Then it happened in a third seat and M got discouraged and said she was about to say forget it and not go (which staff did not like because she does not have a choice). Inside she felt rejected and wanted to cry. The staff member who was driving (who is a recent graduate and a brand new staff member) proceeded to scream at M that she can't control everything and blah, blah. (Another client who is close to graduation confirmed M's story as she was sitting with us while M was telling me about it). I don't know who wouldn't take that badly!? Apparently in the couple of days leading up to that M had had a bad attitude and it culminated that night. They called M in the office the next day and asked if she was self sabotaging so that she would not have to take care of Connor - which is NOT the case. She has never shirked her responsibility of him and has always wanted him with her). They asked what caused her recent attitude and she could not come up with an answer but thought she had to have one so she said it was because she had not been going to church as often. That is when they decided to transition him because once he is there she won't be attending church much at all. She later realized that she got on her high horse because Connor was coming instead of being humble and grateful. I told her that was the honesty they were looking for! So, by coming up with an excuse because she didn't truly know, she kind of shot herself in the foot. I just think it is hard for her not to take that as a punishment given what happened and they kept stressing that it was not a punishment - they just wanted to do this right for all involved.
So hearing this really bothered me. I wanted to go yell at staff and the women for treating her that way but I know I cannot fight her battles for her. There will always be jerks in life and she needs to know how to handle herself. She tells me it is really hard sometimes and it brings her back to middle school where she was always rejected by people. She questions what she did to make people not like her so much.
So I am just praying for her and praying that she knows how loved she is and that the opinions of these women mean nothing in the end. She needs to stop caring what others think and stop hoping for everyone's approval. I know staff is hard on her for a reason and I trust in that, but it is hard. I just hate seeing my children hurt. BUT, I was told by one of the women near graduation that she truly loves M. She told me as a mom, if her daughter was there, she would want to know that someone loved her daughter. She started crying saying how she should have stood up for M on that van but she didn't and I went over and gave her a hug.
She started her new job at McDonald's on Monday and Connor is going back to her today (Matter of fact, I need to leave here very shortly to go get him and bring him there). He will be there until Sunday at 5. Then he is supposed to spend every other week with her, which we are leery of just because we don't know how he will react to spending that length of time with her and then leaving her again. But, we won't know unless we try...
She told me that one of the girls was leaving the program and told M that if she graduates it says a LOT about her because of the way she is treated there. She is one strong woman. She told me flat out that if she didn't want this SO badly, she would have left. But she digs in and perseveres and I told her that will end up making her an amazing woman in the end. God has GREAT things in store for her!! <3 We go through these trials for a reason...
I am sorry to hear that about your daughter even if she is clean. I hope she is on birth control and doesn't have any more children at this time... that little boy is SO lucky he has you!!!
So hearing this really bothered me. I wanted to go yell at staff and the women for treating her that way but I know I cannot fight her battles for her. There will always be jerks in life and she needs to know how to handle herself. She tells me it is really hard sometimes and it brings her back to middle school where she was always rejected by people. She questions what she did to make people not like her so much.
So I am just praying for her and praying that she knows how loved she is and that the opinions of these women mean nothing in the end. She needs to stop caring what others think and stop hoping for everyone's approval. I know staff is hard on her for a reason and I trust in that, but it is hard. I just hate seeing my children hurt. BUT, I was told by one of the women near graduation that she truly loves M. She told me as a mom, if her daughter was there, she would want to know that someone loved her daughter. She started crying saying how she should have stood up for M on that van but she didn't and I went over and gave her a hug. She started her new job at McDonald's on Monday and Connor is going back to her today (Matter of fact, I need to leave here very shortly to go get him and bring him there). He will be there until Sunday at 5. Then he is supposed to spend every other week with her, which we are leery of just because we don't know how he will react to spending that length of time with her and then leaving her again. But, we won't know unless we try...
She told me that one of the girls was leaving the program and told M that if she graduates it says a LOT about her because of the way she is treated there. She is one strong woman. She told me flat out that if she didn't want this SO badly, she would have left. But she digs in and perseveres and I told her that will end up making her an amazing woman in the end. God has GREAT things in store for her!! <3 We go through these trials for a reason...
I am sorry to hear that about your daughter even if she is clean. I hope she is on birth control and doesn't have any more children at this time...
that little boy is SO lucky he has you!!!stressedmama
Active Member
Yes, she is on birth control - thankfully. Taking on another baby at this point would not be an option. Perhaps her new family would do it. Don't mean to sound caddy but I'm feeling a little salty about it right now.
Short story...we met her for breakfast on Mother's Day. Took her the framed picture GS made at daycare and a card. She showed up with a single rose in a water bottle. OK, even though she's picking up a few hours a week at a florist, I know she doesn't have any money (except for the $100 husband put in her account earlier in the week much to my dismay) so I was appreciative she brought me anything. THEN she was whining she didn't have any money and she really wanted to buy something for boyfriend's mom since she's done so much for her. WHAT?!?!?
What's worse, is hubs ended up giving her $30!! If I could have spit fire I would have. It really didn't bother me at all about the rose/water bottle thing until she was prepared to go shopping and pick out the perfect gift to say thank you to this woman for "all she's done for her." HELLO? I'm caring for your kid - how much more can you do for someone?
I am so done with her.
Short story...we met her for breakfast on Mother's Day. Took her the framed picture GS made at daycare and a card. She showed up with a single rose in a water bottle. OK, even though she's picking up a few hours a week at a florist, I know she doesn't have any money (except for the $100 husband put in her account earlier in the week much to my dismay) so I was appreciative she brought me anything. THEN she was whining she didn't have any money and she really wanted to buy something for boyfriend's mom since she's done so much for her. WHAT?!?!?
What's worse, is hubs ended up giving her $30!! If I could have spit fire I would have. It really didn't bother me at all about the rose/water bottle thing until she was prepared to go shopping and pick out the perfect gift to say thank you to this woman for "all she's done for her." HELLO? I'm caring for your kid - how much more can you do for someone?
I am so done with her.
