Things have been horrific. I am feeling sad, worn down, in need of support. And direction! I have always prided myself on my cool, level headed approach where it concerns raising Seb. Now I feel lost and unsure how to parent him. You may recall that I decided to take Seb off medications for the summer. Since making that decision he has had several "accidents" that involved inujring other children. The day he went off Daytrana he "accidentally" kicked a boy in the balls. My mind is blurring the other incidents at the moment. As for the decision to take Seb off the Daytrana, well, he'll be getting that little patch affixed to his behind tomorrow morning first thing. But will it help? The first run in today happened at the playground at the pool club this morning. Seb was playing with an insect and watching it crawl on a twig when another kid came and killed the bug. Smashed it. And Seb? He punched the kid. Over and over again. I heard the boy crying. Screaming. I saw Seb hitting him in the distance,rushed over, apprehended him, did the requisite apology the the family and removed him from the pool. In the car Seb cried, said he had no self control, said he hated himself, said he was the worst person... I tried to remain collected though I was very upset. I told him that in the adult world what he keeps doing is called assault and it lands people in jail. He cried and said he desrved to go there. At home, my husband took a far less mild approach. He doesn't buy into the fact that Seb's impulsivity is beyond his control. He thinks punishment will make a difference, so he took away his Nintendo. No he didn't read The Book. He knows better, just ask him. Hasn't read a page but thinks it is mamby pamby BS. Later in the day we went to a friend's BBQ though I wanted to stay at home. I couldn't-- nthe hosts were counting on our being there. In the evening though, Seb "accidentally" pushed a kid to the ground and kneed him in the head while playing monkey in the middle. Once again, there was the other kid crying, Seb screaming: "I don't know what happened! I don't know what I did!"... then the apology to the parent and the humiliating exodus from the party. I can't take any more of this. Does this mean we can't go anywhere? He feels remorseful each time, but is there any way to stop these confrontations with other kids? How do I handle the constant hitting,fighting and arguing with other kids? How do I preserve his self esteem when he feels like a bad kid? At heart I know he is a good boy with a heart of gold but he has less than no self control. All I can do is cry now that he is asleep and the house is quiet. I am so sad for Seb. And I am sad for me. Seb is so much work and I can never relax.