Things with Youngest are not good right now. After some back and forth Sunday about her being at the ER with kidney stones again (a consequence of her pregnancy), and my not helping her out with my grandson because I had plans, she began texting me about how horrible I am. When she said she couldn't believe I wasn't happy for her having this baby, and she was scared, and that she was sorry she was an embarrassment, I had had it. I called her and said, you're right, I'm not happy. It will take time for me to get used to this. That doesn't mean I don't love you and won't love your baby, but right now I can't be happy for you because I think it was irresponsible of you to allow yourself to become pregnant when you have so many health issues, are in an unstable relationship and financially unstable. She admitted she'd done this on purpose... because of the endometriosis and the doctor telling her that each year her chance of having another baby diminished. I told her well, now I really think it's irresponsible. I might have called her selfish too, actually .. but apparently I hurt her, badly. She won't speak to me now. She emailed me to say I'd hurt her and she'd cried for hours, and that she felt abandoned by her mom, and that my friends always come before her. I told her I was sorry my words hurt her, but when pushed, I couldn't lie about my feelings any more than she could. I've told her I want to talk this over in person, not via email or texts, but she says she doesn't want to have the same conversation, where I tell her I'm just scared and thats what I said what I did, and that the reason I'm scared is because of all the things she screwed up (or something to that effect). I want to meet in the middle here.. find a way to give her what she needs but also help her understand that I have my own boundaries that need to be respected... but if she can't even hear out my feelings on this, let alone take them into consideration, we are at a standstill. I love her without question. I want to be there for her during this pregnancy, even if I think it was a horrible idea. Yet, I don't want to be there at the expense of myself. I want her to become independent, and not call her mom every single time something goes wrong. I'm tired of being belittled for having a life of my own, or hearing "oh, it figures" when I tell her I have plans. Her reasoning of "I'm 22, I'm an adult" is exactly the point. To top things off, I've recently met a wonderful man and things are going well. That hasn't happened in years. The timing sucks. I guess I just need to give it time ...and I realize she is pushing major buttons here .. but it still hurts.