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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 24218" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My advice is a neuropsychologist AND a psychiatrist. When you have little bio. info, like we had, and doctors can't even link what may be genetic, it's good to see as many GOOD professionals as you can. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just that many people, myself included, have or had the idea that you can adopt a child, love him, and that will make him better. I found out, to my shock, that many kids who were never really a part of a family fend for themselves at very young ages and often don't want to be loved. Some have had experiences happen to them that they can't even remember. Some are drug affected so their thinking is skewed (not all drug affected kids are a mess--my 13 year old is the sweetest kid on earth!). I'm saying you need to evaluate him often, as he is complicated with a question marks in his genetic background, and you can't try doing this yourself or you won't help him and you'll burn yourself out. I was very naive myself when I adopted Lucas. Then because Lucas did so well, I wanted to adopt an even older child (Lucas had been two) and give him a home, and we adopted two more, one right after the other. I feel very guilty that the child we adopted after the elevin year old was also sexually abused by the elevin year old. He went to a foster home and we released him to them and they adopted him. He'd been with us less than a year and that was a much better family for him and I hear he's doing well. (((Hugs))) and keep writing. others will come along with suggestions. The thing is, adopted kids who have some blank spaces in their history are very hard to diagnose. It's not the same as a biological child, where you know what happened to him all his life, and you know the genetics. Take care :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 24218, member: 1550"] My advice is a neuropsychologist AND a psychiatrist. When you have little bio. info, like we had, and doctors can't even link what may be genetic, it's good to see as many GOOD professionals as you can. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just that many people, myself included, have or had the idea that you can adopt a child, love him, and that will make him better. I found out, to my shock, that many kids who were never really a part of a family fend for themselves at very young ages and often don't want to be loved. Some have had experiences happen to them that they can't even remember. Some are drug affected so their thinking is skewed (not all drug affected kids are a mess--my 13 year old is the sweetest kid on earth!). I'm saying you need to evaluate him often, as he is complicated with a question marks in his genetic background, and you can't try doing this yourself or you won't help him and you'll burn yourself out. I was very naive myself when I adopted Lucas. Then because Lucas did so well, I wanted to adopt an even older child (Lucas had been two) and give him a home, and we adopted two more, one right after the other. I feel very guilty that the child we adopted after the elevin year old was also sexually abused by the elevin year old. He went to a foster home and we released him to them and they adopted him. He'd been with us less than a year and that was a much better family for him and I hear he's doing well. (((Hugs))) and keep writing. others will come along with suggestions. The thing is, adopted kids who have some blank spaces in their history are very hard to diagnose. It's not the same as a biological child, where you know what happened to him all his life, and you know the genetics. Take care [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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