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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 24289" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>It sounds as though your difficult child has quite the hx in the bio home.</p><p></p><p>As the parent of 12 y/o twins with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) & PTSD, I may be able to help some. (My tweedles have been with us going on 7 years now.)</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you've had evaluations of sorts; was the Vineland assessment part of the evaluation? The reason I ask is that you will get an idea of just where your difficult child is developmentally & emotionally. While kt & wm are physically 12 years of age, developmentally & emotionally they test out at 5 & 2.5 years of age respectively.</p><p></p><p>Given that, we have reworked the treatment plan to that age level. Additionally, we are in attachment work. It's a very gentle, slow process. Attachment disorder doesn't just happen & won't be cured miraculously overnight.</p><p></p><p>Our first line of attack was to address any issues that could be improved by medications. My children carry the diagnosis of BiPolar (BP) as well as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) & PTSD. They both are on medications that address the BiPolar (BP) & anti anxiety agents that helps with the anxiety of the PTSD.</p><p></p><p>We have been slowly chipping away at the attachment issues. The ability to trust the primary caregivers (parents). Unfortunately, we've had to take a team approach. wm, for safety reasons, is not living in our home & may likely never live here again. We are a "family of different addresses". </p><p></p><p>kt is scheduled to be discharged from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) next Friday after almost 10 months of treatment, with a boatload of services. Many times, a child with a severe hx of abuse, neglect & PTSD, will need a team approach. We utilize Integrated Listening Systems (ILS), PCA, respite services, along with attachment therapy & a few other things thrown in for good measure. </p><p></p><p>I often say that it does indeed take a village to raise my children.</p><p></p><p>There is a book (hard to find) The Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden that you may want to read. I'd also recommend Parenting the Hurt Child. Nancy Thomas has a couple of good books, though I cannot remember the names off hand.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, when your difficult child is at his worst I would suggest sensory things. kt & wm had a bed tent on their bed for a few years - helped them feel cocooned & safe at night. Lots of rocking, if your difficult child will tolerate it. Warm baths, a gentle massage.</p><p></p><p>Follow through with that evaluation if that's your next move. Contact the adoption agency you adopted through & ask for help. </p><p></p><p>Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) combined with PTSD are a long journey. Parenting these children isn't the norm; in fact, it's quite different. </p><p></p><p>Find time to take care of yourself. Find time for you & your partner. </p><p></p><p>This is a journey of many small steps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 24289, member: 393"] It sounds as though your difficult child has quite the hx in the bio home. As the parent of 12 y/o twins with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) & PTSD, I may be able to help some. (My tweedles have been with us going on 7 years now.) It sounds like you've had evaluations of sorts; was the Vineland assessment part of the evaluation? The reason I ask is that you will get an idea of just where your difficult child is developmentally & emotionally. While kt & wm are physically 12 years of age, developmentally & emotionally they test out at 5 & 2.5 years of age respectively. Given that, we have reworked the treatment plan to that age level. Additionally, we are in attachment work. It's a very gentle, slow process. Attachment disorder doesn't just happen & won't be cured miraculously overnight. Our first line of attack was to address any issues that could be improved by medications. My children carry the diagnosis of BiPolar (BP) as well as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) & PTSD. They both are on medications that address the BiPolar (BP) & anti anxiety agents that helps with the anxiety of the PTSD. We have been slowly chipping away at the attachment issues. The ability to trust the primary caregivers (parents). Unfortunately, we've had to take a team approach. wm, for safety reasons, is not living in our home & may likely never live here again. We are a "family of different addresses". kt is scheduled to be discharged from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) next Friday after almost 10 months of treatment, with a boatload of services. Many times, a child with a severe hx of abuse, neglect & PTSD, will need a team approach. We utilize Integrated Listening Systems (ILS), PCA, respite services, along with attachment therapy & a few other things thrown in for good measure. I often say that it does indeed take a village to raise my children. There is a book (hard to find) The Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden that you may want to read. I'd also recommend Parenting the Hurt Child. Nancy Thomas has a couple of good books, though I cannot remember the names off hand. In the meantime, when your difficult child is at his worst I would suggest sensory things. kt & wm had a bed tent on their bed for a few years - helped them feel cocooned & safe at night. Lots of rocking, if your difficult child will tolerate it. Warm baths, a gentle massage. Follow through with that evaluation if that's your next move. Contact the adoption agency you adopted through & ask for help. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) combined with PTSD are a long journey. Parenting these children isn't the norm; in fact, it's quite different. Find time to take care of yourself. Find time for you & your partner. This is a journey of many small steps. [/QUOTE]
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