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Substance Abuse
husband and I keep getting stronger despite difficult child use and abuse...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 641790" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>MWM, you are right...I should probably call the police each and every time he threatens suicide. Interstingly, I didn't hear from him for 2 days after this episode. </p><p>Now, I thought about it for a while and I do remember calling the police on oldest difficult child when he grabbed a knife and stormed outside as a teenager. The police almost shot him in a field across the street from our house as he was not immediately putting the knife down. Maybe that's why I had reservations for so many yrs. I even called the police back the other night to tell them that young difficult child has a pacemaker in case they were to Tasor him. I don't always trust the police. Some times they are too quick to react in my opinion. </p><p>I will try and remember what you said about reminding him of our love for him and our emotional support...but not financial. </p><p>Thank you.</p><p> </p><p>TL,</p><p>Yes, we have given our all...even my sanity was lost at one point. It is time for husband and I to focus on our own future. Young difficult child is acting like a child, throwing a tantrum because he is not getting his way. Thank God husband and I do already have a strong relationship with each one of his children. They are very special to us and we do see them as often as "normal" grandparents typically do...every 1 to 3 weeks. Normally daughter in law is accomodating but right now she is baby sitting young difficult child, sigh. He puts himself above all others in importance...it is all about him, not even his own children. I think husband and I will take our grandchildren's presents over to them on Christmas day. I know daughter in law's mother will gladly let us in to see our grandchildren open their presents. Thank you TL for the continued support and encouragement. </p><p> </p><p>Nancy, husband and I get up some mornings and play songs we can dance to, smile, it is bitter-sweet. So glad that he and I survived all the worst difficult child days and more...but sad that we can't be "one big happy family". Thank you for your continued care.</p><p> </p><p>Sig, You are so right and your post made me smile. Life is short...in fact the older we get the faster it goes, don't ya think? </p><p>Yes, there was a time not so long ago when my happiness was tied to my children's well-being. Not so much anymore...I am glad we are where we are today...but it took too long to get here. I add up the toll sometimes outloud to husband and it's incredible. I am so glad husband and I can count ourselves amongst the surviviors. I would hate to be in my 60's and still thinking I could somehow someway fix my children. They are adults now. Their choices are theirs. I no longer take it personally. They are not a reflection of me but of their own decison making. And they are not wholly bad people. They (the boys specifically) have their battles with addiction and mood disorders...but that doesn't make them entirely bad. In any event...I have "let go of the rope". </p><p>We have not financially supported young difficult child for around a yr and half now. He would be wise to learn about area shelters and food banks in the future. He would be wise to be honest with Dr's in the future. But I doubt he will do either. He depends on family to rescue him and right now that is his wife and his mother in law. </p><p> </p><p>husband my mother and I do wonder though how this will all shake out for the grandchildren when they grow up. Will they be addicts? Will they be enablers? </p><p>If anything I wish I could save them...but that is the role that their other grandmother is trying to take. Unfortunately she allows herself to be used and abused by daughter in law and young difficult child in my opinion. </p><p> </p><p>Life goes on. </p><p>I do wish all of you a very Merry Christmas...regardless of where our difficult child's are or what they are doing. We have each been given a life to live of our own and as long as we are here...there is purpose in it. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs and love to you all,</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 641790, member: 3305"] MWM, you are right...I should probably call the police each and every time he threatens suicide. Interstingly, I didn't hear from him for 2 days after this episode. Now, I thought about it for a while and I do remember calling the police on oldest difficult child when he grabbed a knife and stormed outside as a teenager. The police almost shot him in a field across the street from our house as he was not immediately putting the knife down. Maybe that's why I had reservations for so many yrs. I even called the police back the other night to tell them that young difficult child has a pacemaker in case they were to Tasor him. I don't always trust the police. Some times they are too quick to react in my opinion. I will try and remember what you said about reminding him of our love for him and our emotional support...but not financial. Thank you. TL, Yes, we have given our all...even my sanity was lost at one point. It is time for husband and I to focus on our own future. Young difficult child is acting like a child, throwing a tantrum because he is not getting his way. Thank God husband and I do already have a strong relationship with each one of his children. They are very special to us and we do see them as often as "normal" grandparents typically do...every 1 to 3 weeks. Normally daughter in law is accomodating but right now she is baby sitting young difficult child, sigh. He puts himself above all others in importance...it is all about him, not even his own children. I think husband and I will take our grandchildren's presents over to them on Christmas day. I know daughter in law's mother will gladly let us in to see our grandchildren open their presents. Thank you TL for the continued support and encouragement. Nancy, husband and I get up some mornings and play songs we can dance to, smile, it is bitter-sweet. So glad that he and I survived all the worst difficult child days and more...but sad that we can't be "one big happy family". Thank you for your continued care. Sig, You are so right and your post made me smile. Life is short...in fact the older we get the faster it goes, don't ya think? Yes, there was a time not so long ago when my happiness was tied to my children's well-being. Not so much anymore...I am glad we are where we are today...but it took too long to get here. I add up the toll sometimes outloud to husband and it's incredible. I am so glad husband and I can count ourselves amongst the surviviors. I would hate to be in my 60's and still thinking I could somehow someway fix my children. They are adults now. Their choices are theirs. I no longer take it personally. They are not a reflection of me but of their own decison making. And they are not wholly bad people. They (the boys specifically) have their battles with addiction and mood disorders...but that doesn't make them entirely bad. In any event...I have "let go of the rope". We have not financially supported young difficult child for around a yr and half now. He would be wise to learn about area shelters and food banks in the future. He would be wise to be honest with Dr's in the future. But I doubt he will do either. He depends on family to rescue him and right now that is his wife and his mother in law. husband my mother and I do wonder though how this will all shake out for the grandchildren when they grow up. Will they be addicts? Will they be enablers? If anything I wish I could save them...but that is the role that their other grandmother is trying to take. Unfortunately she allows herself to be used and abused by daughter in law and young difficult child in my opinion. Life goes on. I do wish all of you a very Merry Christmas...regardless of where our difficult child's are or what they are doing. We have each been given a life to live of our own and as long as we are here...there is purpose in it. Hugs and love to you all, LMS [/QUOTE]
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