I just don't know what to do. Maybe this is a vent, maybe it is just looking for something...I don't know what. From all my posts, you all know that our relationship is not good. I know the only reason I stayed is because difficult child. I want so much for him to have a house and two parents. But being here may have hurt him more than not. I honestly believe the disrespect I get from my two boys is due to the disrespect they have seen husband give me over the past 14 years. Almost a year ago husband was diagnosis'd with bulging disk. He was told to take it easy and it may go back naturally. But he continued doing everything he did. Which, believe me isn't much. Only the things you shouldn't. Taking out the garbage - difficult child, easy child or myself can do. Carrying up the laundry, brining difficult child anywhere he asks. Sitting goofy on the couch. I asked him to go to the health club in the water, whirlpool. He refused. I asked him to use the heating pad or ice. No. I asked him not to lift things, he continues. I asked him to see a chiropractor, he refused. He did get three shots in his back with no relief. Just continues to take pain medications which are no longer helping. He went to his neurologist last Monday and he prescribed physical therapy. husband hasn't called. His situation at work isn't good. In the shop he has to squat, twist and turn. He is afraid to take off since they are already down to 32 hours a week and people are getting laid off daily. This past week he didn't work Monday or Friday. Yesterday he asked me for our general practitioners phone number. Said he thinks he has a hernia also. Wanted a second opinion. He is in so much pain and he can't pee. Says it is really painful to pee and he can't. Now, all the things I recommend to him I do because I want him to get better. Only he sees it as me being mean. Yesterday he did go to the whirlpool and said it felt better while in the water, but bad when he got out. Went to the doctor. No physical sign of hernia. Wanted a urine test. He couldn't pee. Still this morning he can't. Too painful. On top of all that, difficult child and I got into a physical fight last Tuesday. He threw me on the ground. easy child restrained me and all boys took difficult child's side. He has lied all month about homework. Hasn't turned anything in all month. Instead he is on the computer 6 - 8 hours a day playing that stupid game. I took the laptop, disconnected the desktop and took difficult child's phone. They all see me as the bad guy. easy child doesn't realize that I pay his bills because he can't. I feed him, give him a car and a home. Yet he laughs at me. difficult child doesn't even come out of his room. Just lays there. He has been staying after school and working with one teacher. Getting work done little by little. Baseball started this week, and I can't keep him from doing that. It is the ONLY thing he does and I think he needs it. He has practice this morning at 8am. Make-up due to rain all week. Today is also a diabetes walk sponsered by school. I have asked him for months to do this. I'll walk with him. Do it for my mom. A month ago he said yes. Then switched his mind several times. Hasn't gotten anyone to donate. He now says he will do it because I am "making him". I am sad. He is so selfish. And 1 hour of his time for someone else would be nice. I don't say things, do things to be mean. I do it because I want things to be better. Only nobody sees it that way. What do I do now? oh - husband did say he will see the chiro, he'll see a voodoo doctor if it will help. Too bad it took until he is in so much pain to do this. AND then I see him lift Chloe off the deck. She is 70 pounds. I just am so lonely and so scared I just want to sit and cry. I just don't know what to do. I know you are all sick of hearing all this. So I understand. Just thanks for giving me this place to talk.