I swear, if it weren't for the fact that he's 6'5" and 300lbs, I could just shake husband till he rattles sometimes. We were at a friends house tonight playing cards. Somehow the subject gets on another friend of ours and husband makes some joking comment about him and calls him a particular name that back in the "old days" used to mean happy. (Which he's not but that's beside the point.....sort of) Of course he's in front of difficult child at the time. I've had conversations many times with husband about saying those types of things in front of difficult child. In this case it was a joke and husband has never referred to anyone in a derrogatory fashion with names like that. However, difficult child (because of his past before we got him) already has a very distorted view of all things s e x u a l and I have spent the last 8 years trying to sort him out. (it's nothing HUGE but big enough I want to do what I can to get it all straight in his head) Every freaking time this happens, husband can't for the life of him, understand why I get mad and we have the same conversations over and over. I'll get comments like "Oh, he's 17, it's just a joke and he knows it" or "He's 17, I said the same kind of things when I was his age" blah blah blah blah. Well No! You can't say those things around him because he takes them to heart. And I don't really care what you said when you were 17 because when you were 17, you didn't have the same history and you understood what was what...difficult child doesn't. Not to mention the fact that emotionally/socially difficult child isn't NEAR 17 or did you forget that part? Is it going to take me smacking husband upside the head before he gets it or "remembers" not to say things like that??? I realize that difficult child is almost grown and is capable of forming his own opinions and that's fine. But while he's in this house, there will be no derogatory remarks, no "jokes", none of that. I'll talk to husband and think he gets it and then he turns around and pulls crap like this.