husband Has Me Feeling Passive-Aggressive This AM

[trinityroyal]

DF, I'm another who feels your pain. My husband lost 225 lbs several years ago. He was within 25 lbs of his goal weight when he completely went off the wagon. He has since regained about 125 lbs. Still not as big as he started, but A LOT bigger than he should be.

My first thoughts when reading about your husband's behaviour were:
1) thyroid issues
2) sleep apnea
3) depression
4) some combination of 1, 2 and 3.

In any case, the eating is your husband's deal and he's the one who's going to have to sort it out for good or ill. Other than taking a hard line on things that affect the rest of the family (e.g. food budget, temperature in the house, etc.), I would leave him to sort it out.

Things you can do without constantly playing food cop:

Serve everyone the portion that they're supposed to eat, and pack away leftovers immediately. The crock pot is great for this as you can't really snack from it while the cooking is in progress.
Change the size of the dishes but don't mention it to husband. Just present it as a fait accompli. Get rid of the old, larger sized dishes entirely. If he complains, then he can find the money and time to go out and buy new dishes.
Get rid of all junk that crosses your threshold. If husband brings it in the house, toss it or give it away or otherwise get rid of it.
Replace all of the dairy with 1%. Enough fat that you're not getting the sugar overload that many "low-fat" products have, and not so thin that it's unpalatable like skim. Or, if the rest of you don't eat a lot of dairy, go all the way and get the diet stuff. Have you ever tasted low-fat cheese? It's the most disgusting substance ever. (Well, except for soy-based chocolate pudding...)

Anyway, if you stop letting husband's food issues drive you nuts, it will be easier for you to deal with them -- and him.

Sending many hugs,
Trinity

 

[DammitJanet]

I love skim milk...lol. I was raised on it so anything else tastes like cream to me. I can barely drink it. I have forced the rest of the family to turn to skim milk or rarely they will bring home 1% and I will grudgingly use it because I dont use much milk anyway except in cooking. Once in a blue moon I will have a few cookies with milk.

Those of you who actually know me and have seen me know what I look like. You can imagine what I eat. It used to be that I would eat a whole bag of candy every night while watching TV. I have completely stopped that. It is hard because Tony and Billy still bring stuff home for me. Tony brought me a whole bag of mini 3 musketeer bars about 2 weeks ago and they have been sitting in my room all this time. I have eaten maybe one a day or one every other day and still have some left. They used to be one of my favorite candy bars and I would eat two of the king sized candy bars in one sitting.

I agree that it is much easier if people do nothing but be supportive, dont try to police things, certainly dont try to sabotage, congratulate like heck for every small victory.

 

[buddy]

Everyone has such good advice. Only thing I could think is even if he decides to go get some snack at least he has to make the effort and it isn't there to.graze on....I do that myself. I figure if I'm really hungry for something I'd go get it and its ok. But I really have next to nothing sweet or salty at home but fruit and generic Ritz. Once we started eating fruit cravings went down. Q obsesses over food if hungry. I.have a bowl of veggie soup and I peel an orange for him before his bus arrives back home. We eat dinner later then so he doesn't snack late. I notice the food talk has gone way way down. (Though he.still is gaining weight on these medications, kind of scary )

 

[DammitJanet]

The weight gain on medications is horrible. I had lost a hundred pounds back in 04 and then when I lost insurance and the county mental health refused to put me on the lamictal/topamax combo that I had been on for years and they wanted to put me on their normal "we only use lithium and depakote for bipolar along with risperdal and zyprexa" for bipolar treatment plan. Well that is just plain stupid and it doesnt work for everyone and they should understand that someone who comes in with a medication plan that has been working for years and years doesnt need messing with. Anyway, when they took me off my medications and put me on lithium and zyprexa, I gained back all the weight I lost in just a few months no matter what I did. And trust me I complained, I refused to take the medications, I threw all sorts of fits until they finally gave me back my normal medications but by then it was too late. The weight was back and the topamax didnt work the way it did the first time as far as helping curb the appetite. It does help with what it is actually supposed to do with the mania (which it doesnt for a lot of people I know) but it doesnt have the appetite control it used to have. I am wondering about increasing it again but I am already on 600 mgs.

 

[1905]

Zyprexa causes servere weight gain. Patients who are anorexic are given that. I refused to take it, I swear I had to hide it under my tongue and put all the pills in a drawer. I googled that and it said the average gain is 16 pounds in 4 months, that's average. Please, who would ever take that? I think a lot of medication in that class of drugs causes the same amount of weight gain. It doesn't seem worth it to me.