husband is officially AH

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, May 2, 2010.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Gotta tell you, I've been standing on my head and spittin' nickles trying to satisfy the entire free world around this seperation. I have come to the conclusion that he's got exactly what he wanted and was too much of a coward to say so.

    He has changed his email password, facebook password, told our neighbor who was having a wedding bash at her house (they'd been together for 19 years and decided to make it official) that he was coming and bringing his wife as a date, didn't call, show up - nothing.

    difficult child 1 has been having violent meltdowns every day. Every day. I ER'd him, standard questions, released. He has a psychiatrist appointment on Wed. I don't know what type of medication to ask for (high anxiety, neurotic in the sense that if he makes a mistake or does something wrong they're going to kick him out of school and hate him, lightning fast explosive temper, broke sheetrock in 2 rooms, etc.)

    I went to the wedding bash had a great time, but my sister who was watching the kids stalked out when I got home (admittedly it was late, but she told me to stay and have fun - I had my cell and difficult child 1 had a meltdown and she didn't call me). First time in 6 years that I have gone out and it is now the last. Gotta love it!

    Sorry for dumping on you - I just need to get this out of my system - I swear it feels like poison!

  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. When it rains it pours. I wonder if AH(not sure what else to call him) did get just what he wanted.

    I hope that you are able to go out again at some point, it just may be later than sooner.

    I hope psychiatrist has a good medication request for difficult child 1, sounds like he is really struggling right now.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear this is a continuing struggle for you. Keep reminding yourself that it will get better- and it will. I'd call him an AH, too.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's highly possible that AH got exactly what he wanted..........while you get left being the bad guy and holding the bag. Seen it many times with couples. Irks the very devil out of me.

    Glad you got to go out and have some much needed fun. Sis may get over the lateness. I hope she does so you can catch a break now and again.

    Will keep fingers crossed and say a prayer psychiatrist gives difficult child a medication that works to ease his current issues.

  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I know it wasn't long after I left my exh that I realized he got EXACTLY what he wanted - none of the day to day responsibility, the ability (short term) to look like the wounded party, and simply put: freedom. Although it took him 7 years, he did finally give me credit for leaving and raising my girls and admit (a tiny bit) that things turned out okay for him after all.

    I'm glad you were able to have that night out, hopefully your sister will get over it in a bit, and one day you will get to go out again.

    I hope difficult child settles down and things get easier - they will. Hugs~