husband hasn't seen many of the different things that jess is experiencing. He is either too busy in his own head or else he is off somewhere or he doesn't realize that what he is seeing is NOT exactly what she is saying. Jess will say that she is fine, doesn't want to get up when reality is that she can't because either she can't move her body or else her muscles are so tight that she can't straighten her legs. Jess and I have been having words about this because it isn't fair to her to feel she needs to hide, to me to have to try to get husband to understand what is going on when he doesn't see the problems, or on husband to be kept in the dark. I did it to my dad too, when my health tanked in my teens. But my dad and husband are very different and husband keeps trying to convince Jess that she isn't "really" having these problems because he doesn't see it and the reg doctor didn't rx anything, so how can it be real? Have any of you heard of torticolis? Where a person's head is pulled into a strange position and they CANNOT move it? Jess is having something similar to that, except it isn't just her head/neck. Her shoulders, arms, back, sometimes even her legs do this. It hit while the 3 of us were talking, and then husband left the room to do something. Jess then asked me to pull her head straight and her shoulder forward and down. I called husband back in and had him help me. We firmly but gently push until she can straighten out. Leaving it bent results in sheer agony for a few hours after it stops and by massaging and moving her body to where it is more aligned she is in less pain at the time and far less pain the next day. Now husband is freaking out. I understand, but I don't see how it will help. It is why I don't show anything like that to Jess - I am calm, admit what I don't know, work to figure out what will help her feel better and try to include some stupid jokes or something when she is in the middle of an episode that is lasting longer than ever before. NOT because i feel like joking, but because it keeps her calm. Panic is rarely useful, in my opinion. I really wish that I could be the one who falls apart and doesn't cope with a problem. husband freaks, or he will emotionally run away and refuse to deal with it, etc.... I can't because if I do then the kids are on their own. At least husband, yet again, sees that the problems are REAL and are NOT something that Jess is faking for sympathy. Cause you just can't fake this, not that I could figure out anyway.