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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 624089" data-attributes="member: 15796"><p>Sigh...</p><p> </p><p>So husband and I had an argument the night before last. A stupid one about laundry not being done when he got home. I was ticked. I had just finished cooking dinner and cleaning up two nights in a row while he came home, showered and sat on his rear end. So to me, I felt like he was acting like king of the roost and how dare we not do laundry! When I brought up that hey, I work, I cooked, I cleaned, etc, he started ranting about Marina. Why couldn't she do it? Said she sits on her lazy, fat butt all day and I let her. Said this was supposed to be two weeks, remember?? And called her a mooch. (we are talking about 2 loads of laundry)</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, I guarantee something else is bothering him that he has been stewing over and it erupted over laundry. That is his MO. It comes out as something out of left field and it turns out to be something else entirely. It is one of the most annoying personality traits that he has.</p><p> </p><p>Regardless, I can say that everything he said has really changed how I look a him. I am SO angry. It did real damage. Thank heavens she was not home to hear any of that because it is not true. Not in the <em>least</em>. She works her butt off and anything that her and Connor need, she buys. She only eats with us two nights a week. The only thing we provide now is a roof over her head which we have anyway. He should be proud of her. I am.</p><p> </p><p>This is a text she sent to me that very night after getting home and having absolutely NO knowledge of the argument that happened earlier: "I love you so much. Thank you for everything you do for me and Connor. And allowing me and Connor to stay here even though it gets hard at times."</p><p> </p><p>I thought husband and I were on the same page. I thought we both felt incredibly blessed to have our family together. Sure, it was an adjustment at first. It was an adjustment for me to get used to all the hours he is working now. But I adjusted. We are always so happy, smiling and laughing all the time. Enjoying our time with Connor. I thought life was so unbelievably fantastic that I had to pinch myself to make sure it was real. My family has definitely become my number one priority in life. They are my world - my everything. Laundry, dishes, a clean house - not priorities anymore. Who cares about stuff like that? We are not living in filth. We have a cleaning lady. </p><p> </p><p>I know we are supposed to put our spouses first, but <em>always</em>? I honestly feel, at this point in my life, that if he is not happy having his family under one roof, then <em>he</em> can leave. Marina and Connor are not going anywhere. I am sorry. I told him that he can stop throwing that "two weeks" in my face because I am never, ever going to regret having them here. I told him how incredibly lonely I would be if they weren't. Even if he doesn't really enjoy them being here, he is never here anyway! By the time he gets home from work - I see him maybe two hours before he is asleep. And he works Saturdays. I would be alone ALL the time. I would be miserable. </p><p> </p><p>So, I am sad. I am sad that even though he is probably upset about something else entirely, that this is how he thinks about our daughter and our family life. I am seriously, after 17 years, thinking about the future of my marriage. If this is how he truly feels, I am not sure I want to continue being with him then. One of the things I find so incredibly sexy about him is when I see him being the doting grampa and fun loving dad. And so, with the opposite, it is affecting how I view him. Maybe our priorities have changed and they are not aligned anymore. I am still honestly shocked that he feels that way. It came from left field. He certainly didn't <em>act</em> like he felt that way...</p><p> </p><p>Obviously he and I need to have a serious talk. I am standing my ground. At 40 years old, I know what I want in life. I want to cherish this time with my family. Once it is gone, it is never coming back. I do not want to spend the rest of my life at home alone working all the time. I don't think it would be fair that he would expect me to. Does he really want to spend the rest of his life alone? I honestly don't think so. I just don't get it. I really don't. And I cannot shake this feeling that I have now when I look at him. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 624089, member: 15796"] Sigh... So husband and I had an argument the night before last. A stupid one about laundry not being done when he got home. I was ticked. I had just finished cooking dinner and cleaning up two nights in a row while he came home, showered and sat on his rear end. So to me, I felt like he was acting like king of the roost and how dare we not do laundry! When I brought up that hey, I work, I cooked, I cleaned, etc, he started ranting about Marina. Why couldn't she do it? Said she sits on her lazy, fat butt all day and I let her. Said this was supposed to be two weeks, remember?? And called her a mooch. (we are talking about 2 loads of laundry) Honestly, I guarantee something else is bothering him that he has been stewing over and it erupted over laundry. That is his MO. It comes out as something out of left field and it turns out to be something else entirely. It is one of the most annoying personality traits that he has. Regardless, I can say that everything he said has really changed how I look a him. I am SO angry. It did real damage. Thank heavens she was not home to hear any of that because it is not true. Not in the [I]least[/I]. She works her butt off and anything that her and Connor need, she buys. She only eats with us two nights a week. The only thing we provide now is a roof over her head which we have anyway. He should be proud of her. I am. This is a text she sent to me that very night after getting home and having absolutely NO knowledge of the argument that happened earlier: "I love you so much. Thank you for everything you do for me and Connor. And allowing me and Connor to stay here even though it gets hard at times." I thought husband and I were on the same page. I thought we both felt incredibly blessed to have our family together. Sure, it was an adjustment at first. It was an adjustment for me to get used to all the hours he is working now. But I adjusted. We are always so happy, smiling and laughing all the time. Enjoying our time with Connor. I thought life was so unbelievably fantastic that I had to pinch myself to make sure it was real. My family has definitely become my number one priority in life. They are my world - my everything. Laundry, dishes, a clean house - not priorities anymore. Who cares about stuff like that? We are not living in filth. We have a cleaning lady. I know we are supposed to put our spouses first, but [I]always[/I]? I honestly feel, at this point in my life, that if he is not happy having his family under one roof, then [I]he[/I] can leave. Marina and Connor are not going anywhere. I am sorry. I told him that he can stop throwing that "two weeks" in my face because I am never, ever going to regret having them here. I told him how incredibly lonely I would be if they weren't. Even if he doesn't really enjoy them being here, he is never here anyway! By the time he gets home from work - I see him maybe two hours before he is asleep. And he works Saturdays. I would be alone ALL the time. I would be miserable. So, I am sad. I am sad that even though he is probably upset about something else entirely, that this is how he thinks about our daughter and our family life. I am seriously, after 17 years, thinking about the future of my marriage. If this is how he truly feels, I am not sure I want to continue being with him then. One of the things I find so incredibly sexy about him is when I see him being the doting grampa and fun loving dad. And so, with the opposite, it is affecting how I view him. Maybe our priorities have changed and they are not aligned anymore. I am still honestly shocked that he feels that way. It came from left field. He certainly didn't [I]act[/I] like he felt that way... Obviously he and I need to have a serious talk. I am standing my ground. At 40 years old, I know what I want in life. I want to cherish this time with my family. Once it is gone, it is never coming back. I do not want to spend the rest of my life at home alone working all the time. I don't think it would be fair that he would expect me to. Does he really want to spend the rest of his life alone? I honestly don't think so. I just don't get it. I really don't. And I cannot shake this feeling that I have now when I look at him. :( [/QUOTE]
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