husband laid difficult child's Teacher out ...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by shellyd67, May 17, 2012.

  1. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh Boy !

    difficult child has made huge improvements with his grades since qualifying for Title 1 Reading program and his private tutoring with the SD Reading Specialist.

    He has made an about face. He has 3 A's and 1 D (in reading, of course)

    However, his behavior has been poor. He was making big improvements there as well but his Teacher says he "refuses" to show his work when doing Math quizzes/tests, etc.

    We all have repeadedly discussed this with difficult child and as usual one ear and out the other.

    He is frustrated and beginning to form a tic in his throat. When he is over stressed he tics and has for several years.

    husband and I have always been in difficult child's corner and have always supported the Teacher in anyway we could. We go for meetings, we help with homework, studying and just all around care about difficult child's education.

    Teacher sent an email home yesterday explaining that difficult child "refuses" and that he "whines" , etc... Quite frankly her email was a bit "whiny"

    This kid has documented diagnosis and a 504 plan and get no break it seems.

    difficult child came home yesterday and told me that his Teacher likes 20 kids in his class but she has 21 students (excluding himself from being liked)

    I felt so bad. I know difficult child and he was being geniune and pleading with me that he really didn't know how to do the work and he told her this and she insisted that he did.

    husband called her today and gave her a piece of his mind. He has always been an advocate for difficult child(sometimes making too many excuses for him)

    I always am the pessimist when it comes to difficult child but this time ... Somethings telling me she isn't treating him fairly ...

    I am waiting for husband to get home from work to hear the whole story ...
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, WHEW! I thought you meant he PUNCHED the teacher... OMG!

    Sometimes the teachers are worse than useless. Sometimes they can handle one kind of kid but not the other. Jett's English & Reading teacher was Onyxx's when she was in 7th grade - he loves Mrs. D, and vice-versa - Onyxx DESPISED her, and it was mutual. (Or perhaps we frightened her back then...)
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    There could be other "minor" dxes not yet encountered, which have "interrupted" his learning enough that he really doesn't have all the building blocks that the teacher "thinks" he has...

    We went through this.
    Took too long, but... two potential dxes often co-morbid with ADHD, and which can really mess up "learning" and "performance"... are:
    1) Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) - auditory processing disorder... not language processing; but noise processing, in particular, is often missed, and classrooms are VERY noisy if you have a problem with auditory figure ground...
    2) Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) - developmental coordination disorder... motor skills problems that affect not just the can/can't of an action like writing, but also the ability to sustain that activity and/or to "think" and "write" at the same time...

    Just tossing it out there.
  4. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm glad difficult child has you and husband on his side. I hope difficult child's last few weeks in this class are better.
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Yes, I too visualised, cartoon-style, this teacher lying flat on the floor with stars circling her head, while a huge boxing-gloved hand hovered above her :)
    It certainly does sound as if your son is not being given a break. Why not go in to discuss it with her, the both of you?
  6. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Insane I took your advice on a few threads back and set difficult child up for an Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) at our local childrens hospital but they are backed up til July.

    I am told my insurance "may"not cover it and it costs over $3000 ??? Can the SD do the test ? and if so how hard is it to get them to comply ?

    @ Step, LOL husband would never strike anyone (unless it was self defense that is ) he is just so frustrated and feels SD does not have difficult child's best interest and he is slowly convincing me of the same feeling ...

    difficult child goes to middle school in September and I am worried ...
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    difficult child 1 has GREAT difficulty putting his work on his paper. He knows how to do it HIS way but can't get it written out. I went through the same struggle with his math teachers. It is infuriating. That is one of difficult child's executive functioning deficits. He can't put what he's thinking into writing. Personally, I would give your guy a break. If he gets the correct answers then OBVIOUSLY he knows how to do it, just maybe not their way. THEIR way made no sense at all to difficult child 1. That is the part that confused him and he's say he doesn't know how to do it. He just didn't know how to do it their way but he knew how to solve the problems.

    That's why I absolutely despise 504's. And there's not a d**** thing you can do about it if they don't follow it.

    Good for him. BRAVO warrior dad!!
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Are you in with the audiology dept?
    They are the only ones with a definitive answer...
    A good Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) can do pre-screening... you need one who can test for ALL of the APDs. They won't diagnosis, but... if they find NO issues, AND were testing for auditory figure ground, then you may not need audiology.
    And a private Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) should cost a lot less than 3 grand...
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    UHG! Writing out the math is one of the most popular and oldest school struggles. teachers have repeatedly told me that boys are especially bad at this but generally all kids get with the program when they hit Algebra and there really is no choice but to write it out.

    For son the issue is a bit of his fine motor skills, but more his Aspie Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) of the fact that he can never keep his numbers all properly lined up. They bother him when they go crooked. :) seriously.

    Translation from teacher's point of view? I'm too lazy to reteach this to difficult child. Son got this from a few teachers as well. I had to re teach a few things, in a few different ways at home. He always seemed to finally get it once he moved on to the next unit. Like a delayed reaction, so now when he gets stuck (on any subject) we go over it, take a break, try to move on, then go back. Can be tedious and annoying but it's kind of like allowing the brain to "digest" the material.
  10. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    I HATE the fact that math teachers want you to write out "everything". I never saw the point and it always seems like they want the student to write out extra steps. If one gets the correct answer, then that should be fine, period. I've always been great at math, and the only reason my grades suffered at all was because I'd get marked off for not showing work. I'd look at it and see all the steps I needed to take, I never understood why I'd have to take three steps to get to something I only needed one. Really, I hate that....and I'll tell future teachers that if daughter actually gets to a point in math that one would have to show steps.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I used to hate all the steps.
    Until I got to HS chem class... and had a really unique teacher.
    We got 10 points for each question.
    ONE point for the right answer.
    The rest were for working through the process.

    If we got the process right, and the answer wrong... we were still getting 90%. His reasoning? There's computers that will do all the calcs for you, but if you don't know the process, you'll never know whether you got the right answer or not.

    This doesn't apply to basic-math real-life logical problems... I'm talking advanced chemistry, physics, calculus... and if you don't learn some of it at the algebra level, you'll never do the other stuff. If the other stuff isn't in your future, I don't have a problem with not learning the process. But if it wasn't for learning the logic of math and science... I wouldn't be working as a tech-head, because tech stuff is 100% logic.

    Having said that. Any kid who can't write/print FAST and NEAT, will NEVER want to do the work... because it doesn't "work" unless it's all properly formatted.

    There are GOOD math programs out there that take care of ALL of the formatting, and leave the learning and logic to the kids...
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Cool idea from that teacher, Insane.

    Shelly, fingers crossed that husband put her in her place but didn't turn her totally against difficult child!
    I feel so badly for so many of our kids who need so much help but have teachers who just don't get it. They think that once a difficult child has learned something, they will move upward and onward like a regular kid. Doesn't work that way.
  13. rhondajean

    rhondajean New Member

    My son's math teacher just gave him a zero for not showing his work. It is so disheartening! He is trying so hard!
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have one suggestion for kids who have a problem keeping their numbers lined up in neat rows. Graph papers. You can get it in various grid sizes so they dont have to write tiny numbers.
  15. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I live in New York state and here kids have to take Regents Exams, which are state wide tests that kids have to take and pass in order to graduate high school. When I was in 1oth grade I had to take my first math Regents, and math was my absolute worst subject. I will never forget that there was a question at the end of the test where I had to show the work. I knew what the answer was, but I couldn't figure out how to show the work. I lost something ridiculous like 10 points because of that. I a passed the test, but the teacher made a HUE deal out of the fact that I "refused" to show the work. She just didnt get it, either.

    I am REALLY glad to hear that husband and you are in difficult child's corner. If you son is telling the teacher that he doesn't know how to do what she wants him to do, why doens't she be the teacher that she's supposed to be and try helping him? Would your son be willing to do a session of extra help, or does he have a friend that is doing well in math who could show him how to do it? difficult child has a friend, who is a difficult child himself, and my difficult child has helped the other difficult child with math quite a few times. The mothers LOVES him for it! LOL!!
  16. Yes!! Janet - my daughter uses graph paper for her math work. She still has trouble lining things up and she is 13 (her visual-motor skills are only in the 4th percentile though so it's understandable).

    Anyway, you can even buy little graph paper notebooks from Hilroy.
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Janet... the graph paper idea does work for some kids... but for our difficult child? he couldn't form the numbers neatly enough to be able to read them after he wrote them, no matter the size of the grid. If your 8 looks like a 6, when you do the math the answer will be wrong. As usual... you have to find what works for the kid.
  18. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    My dyslexic son has a scribe for his math tests written into his IEP. Since we added that, he is more willing to show his work. We've also used the graph paper method for him - there are web sites where you can make your own paper.

    Have you considered that he CAN'T show his work? My oldest son and I can look at a math problem like an algebraic equation and say "x = 7 or whatever," but we have to work backwards to solve the problems because we don't know how we got there. It just comes to us, like a psychic, lol1 on the other hand, difficult child, who just took the AP CalcBC exam, CAN work the problems forward and that's why he can do higher level math. I am not an idiot in math, either: I went to Bronx HS of Science but I can't do what difficult child can. If your son can guess or intuit the right answer, teach him to work backwards. The teacher will never know as long he gives it to her in the right format. Also, my dyslexic child had trouble with algebra until he learned 2 extra steps that weren't taught but which he needed.

    Good luck.
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is time to present the school, via certfied return receipt mail, with a letter requesting the testing for APDs, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, VPDs, and any other disorders you can think of. they CANNOT refuse to test for these if you ask for them. PERIOD. We have a vision therapies at our district because a parent (who I know and helped write the letters) wrote the letter and asked/insisted. they tried the 'we can't' and were told it is part of child find that they MUST identify learning disorders and these are learning disorders, so if they don't have a person then they can PAY for the tests at the Children's Hospital.

    I think it is entirely possible that either dysgraphia or dyscalculia is causing the problems with showing work. svenghandi would problem be found to have dyscalculia at the very least. Once they find he has the problem, they MUST accommodate it and help with it. even on state exams. Wiz had a HUGE problem writing out the work. Esp with 50+ problems per assignment given by one math teacher. I could never read my work. So I made the 'work' that I had to show EXTRA messy and wrote the answer I knew was right for the answer - even if it didn't make sense with the 'work' I showed. game playing, of course. but if I couldn't read it, then I KNEW my teachers couldn't. Heck 1/2 of them made me read my assignments to them. they would NOT let me type them, but they would make me read them. Stupid, but their problem because they had to take class time to do this as they could NOT require me to come in after school. My classmates LOVED it, lol. less lecture time, Know what I mean??

    I can remember learning 2 digit multiplication in school. I could give you the answer 100% right but i could not tell you WHY it was right. i was soooo confused because i had no idea why that was the answer. i got yelled at and missed recess for 'taking up time' by asking for help. Finally my mom sat down after the nuns complained to her about how I kept 'disrupting' class by asking for help. she was FURIOUS with them, esp when she learned that I had not had recess in 2 weeks for this. Last time they got into my face over anything because she tore them apart verbally - clearly showing how their methods not only were against any teaching philosophy but also were against the teachings of the Cath Church and Vatican 2. I got away with a LOT because they refused to call my parents - EVER. Mom sat and we worked with buttons to group the problems and show how the math worked. until then i just thought it was magic. seriously. i had NO idea that this applied to real life. I totally did not apply the 'math' at school to money -which i was great with - or shopping or cooking or any other in real life math applications.

    I do have dysgraphia and dyscalculia, but managed to compensate enough with creativity to get through math classes. for some reason statistics isn't a problem and i love it. but no one has a clue why.