hi it's early and i gotta go somewhere with this beyond i'm really thrown bigtime.
so yesterday as many of you know i unfortunately had cps at my house a scheduled meeting about difficult child school etc.
so as many of you may also know husband's ex wife has presented endless struggles in our family, has gone after him in text inappropriately for years following the divorce i love you etc. it's kinda like i went thru their divorce with them and all the degrees of seperation that come with it if you know what i mean. to this day he has to watch himself because he'll answer to her ina heartbeat. many therapists tell me that's what 18 years of marriage will do to you.
so we sat there yesterday and he pulled phone out during mtg. (inappropriate) i said what are you doing? i'm texting his daughter my step daughter. why? she's at her doctor appointment today. she has turners so every now and again her heart has to be checked. i said oh ok. he even went so far as to say that he was texting her because she kept asking "daddy how are you?" which i laughed. from her mom's phone ofcourse.
so long story short my gut was telling me he was lying to me. i even specifically asked him do not tell your ex wife about cps. it's none of her business. he said oh why would i do that?? oh ok good got that covered.
i go into his cell today. woke up early it's his birthday to give him a cake with-kids and cards. i look thru and what do i see?
he was texting his ex wife during the cps meeting. stupid junk did stepson take project to house etc etc than she texts why so short and sweet? Like she even has a right to do that.
he proceeds to answer CPS IS HERE.
well i totally lost it. he lied not only once yet twice to me. and ontop of that the sick twisted connection the two of them have is obviously still there for her to even text why so short and sweet and him actually answer.
so i grabbed phone in a fit of rage on this man's birthday no less and walked into the shower and said wow so you were texting our kid?? you didnt' tell your ex right about cps?/ he tried to lie some more to cover it i walked into my room thru my boots on because i had to get away from him. went to truck to have a cigarette because didnt' want to blow infront of kids.
needless to say he had the nerve to stand there and say well she had a right to know and defend both lies. NO SHE DIDNT'.
so here i sit, he left with-kids to drop them at school, go to gym and than work. i didnt' do birthday cake, didnt' do anything didnt' speak to him. he came in to say good bye i closed bedroom door.
i do not know how i can forgive him of this, if i even can. i can't trust him now. he's lied in the past before tends to changes stories that's always been his MOand yes i put up with it. you know how it goes good with bad.
yet i feel so stumped on this. maybe i'll calm i just dont' know. how can i get past this now? we were already in turmoil trying so hard to keep it together and this well blew me away sobadly
any advice?
so yesterday as many of you know i unfortunately had cps at my house a scheduled meeting about difficult child school etc.
so as many of you may also know husband's ex wife has presented endless struggles in our family, has gone after him in text inappropriately for years following the divorce i love you etc. it's kinda like i went thru their divorce with them and all the degrees of seperation that come with it if you know what i mean. to this day he has to watch himself because he'll answer to her ina heartbeat. many therapists tell me that's what 18 years of marriage will do to you.
so we sat there yesterday and he pulled phone out during mtg. (inappropriate) i said what are you doing? i'm texting his daughter my step daughter. why? she's at her doctor appointment today. she has turners so every now and again her heart has to be checked. i said oh ok. he even went so far as to say that he was texting her because she kept asking "daddy how are you?" which i laughed. from her mom's phone ofcourse.
so long story short my gut was telling me he was lying to me. i even specifically asked him do not tell your ex wife about cps. it's none of her business. he said oh why would i do that?? oh ok good got that covered.
i go into his cell today. woke up early it's his birthday to give him a cake with-kids and cards. i look thru and what do i see?
he was texting his ex wife during the cps meeting. stupid junk did stepson take project to house etc etc than she texts why so short and sweet? Like she even has a right to do that.
he proceeds to answer CPS IS HERE.
well i totally lost it. he lied not only once yet twice to me. and ontop of that the sick twisted connection the two of them have is obviously still there for her to even text why so short and sweet and him actually answer.
so i grabbed phone in a fit of rage on this man's birthday no less and walked into the shower and said wow so you were texting our kid?? you didnt' tell your ex right about cps?/ he tried to lie some more to cover it i walked into my room thru my boots on because i had to get away from him. went to truck to have a cigarette because didnt' want to blow infront of kids.
needless to say he had the nerve to stand there and say well she had a right to know and defend both lies. NO SHE DIDNT'.
so here i sit, he left with-kids to drop them at school, go to gym and than work. i didnt' do birthday cake, didnt' do anything didnt' speak to him. he came in to say good bye i closed bedroom door.
i do not know how i can forgive him of this, if i even can. i can't trust him now. he's lied in the past before tends to changes stories that's always been his MOand yes i put up with it. you know how it goes good with bad.
yet i feel so stumped on this. maybe i'll calm i just dont' know. how can i get past this now? we were already in turmoil trying so hard to keep it together and this well blew me away sobadly
any advice?