husband on his way to psychiatrist appointment
- Thread starter gcvmom
- Start date
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Well husband didn't tell me much about the appointment except that because he's also having occasional breakthrough seizures, the psychiatrist wants him to add Lamictal to the Trileptal he takes and wean off Paxil. His next neuro appointment is for 2/13 and by then he should be completely transitioned off and on the two medications.
I didn't comment, just acknowledged what he shared with me. But all the while I'm thinking this is a bad idea BECAUSE Lamictal is the FIRST AE medication he was put on, and while it did help both his mood and his seizures, he developed a RASH after several months on it (a big red flag because of the high risk of Stevens-Johnson syndrome with this particular drug), so his neuro (the one that his current one took over for) immediately took him off it.
I'm not going to interfere at this point because I feel he has to take complete ownership of his care. I cannot be his memory for this stuff (even his current neuro has chastised him for not keep better notes on his own health when he couldn't remember the specifics of the seizures he's had). I've gotten him dialed in with the right professionals, and I even helped him keep track of stuff for several years, but he needs to step up now.
We'll see what happens next. He's really short tempered today, so I'm just gonna stay out of his way.
I didn't comment, just acknowledged what he shared with me. But all the while I'm thinking this is a bad idea BECAUSE Lamictal is the FIRST AE medication he was put on, and while it did help both his mood and his seizures, he developed a RASH after several months on it (a big red flag because of the high risk of Stevens-Johnson syndrome with this particular drug), so his neuro (the one that his current one took over for) immediately took him off it.
I'm not going to interfere at this point because I feel he has to take complete ownership of his care. I cannot be his memory for this stuff (even his current neuro has chastised him for not keep better notes on his own health when he couldn't remember the specifics of the seizures he's had). I've gotten him dialed in with the right professionals, and I even helped him keep track of stuff for several years, but he needs to step up now.
We'll see what happens next. He's really short tempered today, so I'm just gonna stay out of his way.
buddy
New Member
'so you dont know if they already checked to see if he had been on lamictal? will you be nervous while he is on it or can you detach pretty well? I think you are so right, he needs to learn to take over those things, write them down if his memory is not good.
Sorry you have to try to avoid him while he is crabby. Can't be much fun.
thinking of you... HUGS, Dee
Sorry you have to try to avoid him while he is crabby. Can't be much fun.
thinking of you... HUGS, Dee
gcvmom
Here we go again!
The psychiatrist has never rx'd Lamictal for husband before this (the neuro did) -- though I DID tell him about the reaction after it happened, but whether he made a note of it I have no idea.
Yes, I am going to completely detach on this one. And if and when the rash hits again, I will suggest he call the psychiatrist and the neuro to figure out the next step. I cannot be his mother anymore.
Yes, I am going to completely detach on this one. And if and when the rash hits again, I will suggest he call the psychiatrist and the neuro to figure out the next step. I cannot be his mother anymore.
crazymama30
Active Member
G....fwiw difficult child developed hives while trailing lamictal. We took off all medications and restarted it and he has been fine since
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Jean....Do you have CVS pharmacy's out there? I have seen them sell this thing that looks like a credit card that you can put all your medical history on and then the doctor or ambulance or er can just input it into their computer to get the info off of it when the patient goes into the office. It might be something to look into for you. I think it only costs about 20 bucks. I am considering buying one myself because it is getting way to time consuming for me to keep repeating everything every time I go to a new doctor.
I posted about a thing like that a while back. It let you have a credit card type thing with the info or choose a keytag or even a button that snapped onto clothes for those that needed to put them on somoene who would try to take them off all the time. in my opinion we should all have that if we have any type of health problems. Of course I say that and don't have one myself, but I do have a thing in my purse iwth all the info on it.
Janet, I get exhausted telling new docs all the info mostly because they just. don't. listen. and then want to do something and if I say no, been there done that baaad reaction then I am "difficult" or a difficult patient when honestly, if they paid a teeny bit of info they would know I only say that if I have actually had a bad reaction. I don't say it because I want this or that type of medication or specific medication. I may think we need to go in this direction and try this, but if the doctor says something else I am willing to try it. But they just think I am "difficult". I had one who actually tried to give ME the ODD diagnosis, and I stopped seeing them because telling a doctor that you are allergic to something and break out in a big ole nasty rash and CAN'T BREATHE sorta kinda means you shouldn't be rx'd that medication. This was the problem and I flat out refused to try an antibiotic because I don't like to not be able to breathe - I am funny that way cause I guess the doctor thought it was 'optional behavior' to breathe. I flipped on the doctor over giving me the ODD diagnosis and would NOT go back and within six mos the guy was working at the free clinics in the area because he chased away all his patients with that type of stuff.
gvcmom, I applaud you for refusing to be your husband's mommy. This is the ONE thing that has caused the most arguments with husband in our marriage. He thinks I should just keep track of all the medical stuff for him because it is "confusing" for him. I already do it for the kids because he is not capable of remembering what medications they are one, etc.... He is also trying to convince thank you to just let Mom and Jess remember it all for him. Luckily I have thank you thinking that is just stupid. From as soon as they could speak in sentences I worked to teach the kids what they are allergic to and what they are taking. Jess always found this easy, and in grade school she got called out of class now and then if the teacher had a question of whether thank you was allergic to something or not. She was amazingly good at it and usually could accurately tell them if the ingredients in something would be a problem. I always found that odd, but it didn't bother her or thank you and didn't affect her grades. I just think kids should have that info and power - and so should full grown men.
husband won't EVER learn to be responsible if he doesn't make some mistakes and experience the problems. I hope he isn't too grumpy during this process.
Janet, I get exhausted telling new docs all the info mostly because they just. don't. listen. and then want to do something and if I say no, been there done that baaad reaction then I am "difficult" or a difficult patient when honestly, if they paid a teeny bit of info they would know I only say that if I have actually had a bad reaction. I don't say it because I want this or that type of medication or specific medication. I may think we need to go in this direction and try this, but if the doctor says something else I am willing to try it. But they just think I am "difficult". I had one who actually tried to give ME the ODD diagnosis, and I stopped seeing them because telling a doctor that you are allergic to something and break out in a big ole nasty rash and CAN'T BREATHE sorta kinda means you shouldn't be rx'd that medication. This was the problem and I flat out refused to try an antibiotic because I don't like to not be able to breathe - I am funny that way cause I guess the doctor thought it was 'optional behavior' to breathe. I flipped on the doctor over giving me the ODD diagnosis and would NOT go back and within six mos the guy was working at the free clinics in the area because he chased away all his patients with that type of stuff.
gvcmom, I applaud you for refusing to be your husband's mommy. This is the ONE thing that has caused the most arguments with husband in our marriage. He thinks I should just keep track of all the medical stuff for him because it is "confusing" for him. I already do it for the kids because he is not capable of remembering what medications they are one, etc.... He is also trying to convince thank you to just let Mom and Jess remember it all for him. Luckily I have thank you thinking that is just stupid. From as soon as they could speak in sentences I worked to teach the kids what they are allergic to and what they are taking. Jess always found this easy, and in grade school she got called out of class now and then if the teacher had a question of whether thank you was allergic to something or not. She was amazingly good at it and usually could accurately tell them if the ingredients in something would be a problem. I always found that odd, but it didn't bother her or thank you and didn't affect her grades. I just think kids should have that info and power - and so should full grown men.
husband won't EVER learn to be responsible if he doesn't make some mistakes and experience the problems. I hope he isn't too grumpy during this process.
gcvmom
Here we go again!
The card thingy sounds good. However, husband has an iPhone and there's a memo pad that allows you to type notes to yourself and save them. So over the past year or so he's been trying to use that tool. Especially after the neuro scolded him for not having better knowledge of himself (I used to go to all his medical appointments when we were still in research and fact-finding mode, but not anymore).
Sounds like the psychiatrist had a good talk with him about communication in general and trying to work with me more instead of shutting me out, because he made some efforts to connect with me last night and this morning. It's hard to take it seriously, though, and not feel a little jaded when it's so counter to the way he normally behaves, if that makes sense. Takes time to create new habits... and I have first-hand experience with leopards and their proverbial spots...
Sounds like the psychiatrist had a good talk with him about communication in general and trying to work with me more instead of shutting me out, because he made some efforts to connect with me last night and this morning. It's hard to take it seriously, though, and not feel a little jaded when it's so counter to the way he normally behaves, if that makes sense. Takes time to create new habits... and I have first-hand experience with leopards and their proverbial spots...
DDD
Well-Known Member
Your last post put a smile on my face. My husband just is not a communicator and I've grown accustomed to his ways. on the other hand 
literally out of nowhere he tries to start a conversation that I "know" he has preplanned. It is just so bizarre and yet also touching. Usually it makes me feel like strangers chit chatting in a Dr's waiting room. I participate, of course, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking WTH!
DDD
literally out of nowhere he tries to start a conversation that I "know" he has preplanned. It is just so bizarre and yet also touching. Usually it makes me feel like strangers chit chatting in a Dr's waiting room. I participate, of course, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking WTH!DDD
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Well, I doubt this is the medication change affecting him so quickly, but husband has been trying VERY hard the past couple of days to communicate better -- especially on the listening end! It's so funny, though, because he is being SO obvious about it and he has even flat out asked me if he's doing a better job! 
I guess because it does not come naturally to him that it seems like he's trying to perform a new trick or something. Hey, I'll take it at this point!
I guess because it does not come naturally to him that it seems like he's trying to perform a new trick or something. Hey, I'll take it at this point!
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
Good for him for taking it seriously!
gcvmom
Here we go again!
He's even tackling things that would normally cause him to just give up and walk away: I asked him to pick up difficult child 1's rx at the pharmacy, and he called me to verify the info and it turned out the pharmacy screwed up and didn't have ANY pills in stock and it wouldn't be until TUESDAY at the soonest that they could fill the order. So I'm trying to ask husband if they can do a partial or call around to find more at another pharmacy of theirs, and he's listening to me and talking to the clerk at the same time. A confusing situation even for someone who deals with issues like this all the time (like me), but he kept his cool and handled things VERY well without getting overwhelmed and shutting down like he very easily could have.
Oh how I hope this is the beginning of a really good chapter for us...
Oh how I hope this is the beginning of a really good chapter for us...
