husband question/advice

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, May 24, 2011.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ok, ran into an "I dont know what to do" tonight.

    husband let his "dishes" slide this weekend. Yesterday, I worked from home and did all the laundry and loaded ran, and unloaded the dishwasher twice, went to PT, cooked supper, and cleaned it up. I did not, however, load the dishwasher a third time after supper. And, I neglected to thoroughly rinse a pan I'd made hollandaise sauce in (filled it with water, but did not scrub it out).

    This is something I ask husband to do repeatedly, and largely, he doesn't. I quit caring when he started doing the dishes, but I can't tell you how many dried on over easy egg goo plates I have scrubbed.

    He jumped my butt tonight for not scrubbing out the pan, and frankly, it ticked me off.

    So, how should I have reacted?
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    "Says the pot to the kettle"
    "Kiss my a** Oh, no you can't, 'cause you ain't gettin' any for that comment"
    "Oh, you did NOT just say that!"
    or the stare of death. No talking, no comment just stare until he apologizes (you can dream, right?)

    I've said all of these on the rare occasions husband "called me out" for similar stuff, but all they did was keep me from throwing something at him, AND they usually started an argument because how could he have possibly done anything wrong - he's perfect.

    I read on other threads how some of you are trying to "fix" these men, and you have my full support and admiration. I gave up and accepted the fact that I had 4 kids to deal with. And, Oh, I'm so happy he's gone now.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    "Are you talking to ME?!"
    "You're joking, right?"
    "Excuse me?!" (All I have to do is say that to my kids and they immediately back off and apologize, LOL!)
    "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
    "Would you like to try that again? And this time, without being a hypocrit?"
    "Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!!!!" and then leave the room.
    "Your lips are moving but I can't hear a WORD you are saying!"
    "Do you REALLY want me to respond to that comment?!"
    "Oh, did you want to also talk about all the times you've done X, too?"
    "Thanks for pointing that out, Mr. Walk-On-Water. I'll get right on it."
    "I'm sorry it's bothering you so much. What are you going to do about it?"
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What gcvmom said. With an extra does of sarcasm.
  5. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    *said nasal voiced* Claaaasic MrGruuuuuber (Hope you've seen the movie so that makes sense, if not, it means basically "ridiculous fool you make of yourself sometimes". Then hand him the pot, the dish soap and the scrubber and say "Thanks for picking up my slack dear. While you tackle that pot I'll be doing XYZ"(insert something HE does to relax as XYZ). Kiss his cheek and bounce out of the room with pep in your step, beaming super cheery grin. Once out of sight, laugh hysterically at the "HUH????" look on his face while he stands holding the pot/pan. ;)
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The Excuse Me????? One is enough to snap them to attention around here. I might add in a You sooooo did NOT just say what I think you said!

    And then heaven help him if he is dumb enough to "spell it out" for me cuz I'll blast him into the middle of next week.

    It took husband all of twice to back off big time with the Excuse Me one. With the kids it was instant.

    The last time husband did it was when he cleaned the livingroom for me. Now mind you this is a male (slob) cleaning the room. So to begin with while it looked better than it had........I wouldn't really call it "clean". I set something down on a table.........and he was stupid enough to tell me I needed to take it to the trash can in the kitchen. He got hit with the combo above. Then thought he'd talk me out of it.......cuz I was mad in an instant........and said well you don't like it when someone does it after you clean. So I agreed.........then reminded him I'm the one that does 99.99 percent of the cleaning, and since I would be the one to pick it up later anyway, back the hades off!

    I'm now resorting to Travis' carrot.............................You want to eat something other than pbj or balona? Then get off your duff and start getting stuff done around her the right way!. Now if he does a decent amount of work......he gets a decent supper. If not, I tend to make myself a decent supper and he gets pbj or balona (which I just bought in bulk) and I eat MY supper in front of him. lol
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, it would be an INSTANT ass chewing in our home. I would have spelled out exactly what I had done that day, and asked if he had EVER done HALF that much work in the last decade in a single WEEK, much less a day. THen he would be told, usually in WRITING, that while I am NOT perfect I am a DANG sight closer on the cleaning front and ANY criticisms he has of my cleaning can be delivered to the fence outside and he can sleep with it too because he is NOT coming NeAR me inside the house for ANY reason for at LEAST a month.

    The fact that Mr. I must watch ten hrs of tv a day or I will stop functioning and I must not do ANYTHING or be interrupted EVER while doing it had the cajones to call you out because you left ONE pan soaking, well, they would be cut off, fried and served as Rocky Mountain Oysters to him in MY home!
  8. "Yeah, it really sucks when someone doesn't rinse out the pan or an over-easy egg dish. I forgot this once, but I've cleaned a lot of those egg dishes that you didn't rinse. Let's both try harder."
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Running, you are WAYYYYY nicer than I would've been.

    husband knows better than to say word ONE. Not sure he's ever done that to me - and he won't, either.
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    "Do you mean to tell me that you couldn't make it into the kitchen to wash anything all weekend long - and now you're in here inspecting my work???"

    Then as I turned and walked away:

    "Well, I'm sorry things weren't up to your standards."
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ok, good, I'm not alone in my reaction! lol

    I didn't say anything at first. When I got over the OMG shock factor, I said "I really appreciate you doing the dishes, and I apologize for not washing out the pan, but jumping my butt for forgetting one time something that I had asked for from you for years really made me angry. Eight years of scrubbing your plates doesn't allow me to slip up one time?"

    And he got mad because he can't do anything right.
  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    The whole martyr complex makes me NUTS.

    I like how you handled it.
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He's got some self esteem issues. Reminds me of my husband. The feelings are a little too close to the surface all the time and it doesn't take much to bruise them.
  14. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, Step, you have no idea....

    gripe and groan about the carryings on of easy child 1 - mad because easy child 1 keeps his chains and load binders locked up, mad because easy child 1 will "borrow his stuff" and "never put it back", mad because easy child 1 left the side boards off the trailer in the yard...then deliberately drives OUR chains and binders to be locked up in the shop at the farm, so only he can get them, took easy child 1's tackle box and took the whole family fishing using easy child 1's tackle and then leaves it all in the back of the truck thru a week's worth of rainstorms, or uses easy child 1's tools to change his oil and dumps them all back into his own tool box, and left the same boards in the yard and DROVE OVER THEM AND BROKE THEM. Grrrrrr. If he would spend HALF the energy he spends ranting around about the indiscretions of everyone else on his own short comings, we'd be living in a beautifully maincured little piece of heaven....
  15. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Yes, you would...