OK. I'm not even sure how to write all this down. First, x is taking us to mediation May 10th. (After he doesn't get what he wants from mediation he'll probably be taking us to court.) husband and I were talking about this today. husband starts saying that if the courts order me to pay anything that he isn't going to pay it; that its not really my money its his money. And he doesn't have any say and he "wants a say." (What ever that means - I think it means that he wants to tell the court off.) I asked what he is going to do if I am ordered to pay something, I don't pay it (because I don't have any money), I get taken back to court by x for contempt, and then put in jail. Yes, this commissionaire is big on putting people in jail for contempt of court. He said "I could sue the state" I just gave him the raised eyebrow and waited. husband said "I Don't Know!" "I just want a say and I'm not going to pay anything more." I pointed out to him that there have been times that he has fallen into traps laid by x that everyone else can see and there are other times that he has very insightful comments. "I'm going to make the court listen to me!" I asked him "How?" husband said "I don't know! I'm not even to that part of the conversation" (well we're having a conversation about it now. I didn't say that out loud but I was thinking it.) "I'm not even allowed to talk to Mr. our lawyer" I asked him if I needed to get a job. Then he huffed off. Yes, I know husband has major problems in his thinking of 'its my money and not hers'. We've actually made much progress on him not spending us into oblivion. If he keeps insisting this and makes a stink about it in court a few things are going to happen. Its not going to be nice. First, the commissionaire will order me to pay something just because he is a power hungry jerk. Second, husband could be ordered from the court room. Third, I'll end up in jail until husband agrees to pay it. This will devastate our kids and throw our family into a tail spin. Fourth, husband's fit could cost us about a thousand of dollars to fix because of how expensive the lawyer is. Fifth, I'll lose much needed credibility in court. How do I get an autistic man to understand the cost isn't worth it? I can't get him to understand that he can't win going against the court. I'm not saying he shouldn't have a say. And he does have a say; its just not the last say. I take what he says into consideration (and sometimes he has good insight) then I tell my lawyer what to do. And husband has tried to go over my head in the past and tell the lawyer to do something else. (Which at the time would've been disastrous - husband just doesn't see things from the courts point of view but I can't convince him that the court won't agree with him.) And the lawyer came to me and I told him to not take orders from husband. This is one area I'm not backing down from - difficult child 1, my freedom, my family is at stake. Thanks for letting me vent and if anyone knows how to change his mind I'd appreciate some help.